I don't want to migrate and leave my boyfriend


July 22, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I live with my grandmother. My mother gave me to my father, and when my father was leaving the island, he gave me to my grandmother.

I did not meet my mother until I was 14 years old. She said she was living in Cayman. She went away again and she never contacted me.

My grandmother told me that she is like a cow who gives milk and then kicks over the container with the milk.

My father was very good to me. He sent money to my grandmother to take care of me. He has two other children, but I don't know them. They are living in America. He got married to a woman there.

When I was 16 years old, I almost got raped and I became scared to go anywhere alone. It was a big man who almost raped me and I had to bite him in order for him to let me go.

I had to go home without my underwear because he tried to take it off. I bit him and ran, and it was left it in his hands. I did not tell my grandmother what happened. I was afraid he would come and kill the two of us.

I am now 19 years old and I have six Caribbean Secondary Examination Certificate passes. My ambition is to be a nurse.

I have a boyfriend who is 20. We are both Christians.

My father wants to take me to America, but I don't want to leave my boyfriend. My boyfriend told me that I should make up my mind and go because he will wait until I return. I told my father I would come and live with him and his family.

My boyfriend is my problem. I love him and I know he loves me. I don't take anything from my boyfriend. My father sends enough to take care of me and my needs.

He said that he has to put the papers in. He should have done so already.

Every time I think of going away, I worry. I don't want to leave my grandmother and I don't want to leave my boyfriend.

K. D.

Dear K.D.,

I am glad that you have a very good father. I hope the day will come when your mother will show you that she appreciates you. Forgive her for the way she has treated you.

Give thanks for your grandmother and your father. Both have taken care of you. Your father provided the resources and your grandmother gave you shelter and guidance.

You have done very well in school and I trust that your goals will be realised.

I do not doubt that you love your boyfriend, but you are very young and you don't know what the future holds. You are too young to think of him as your husband.

Many things can happen to you in a few years and you might come to realise that he is not the man for you. He might also change and both of you will go your separate ways. I am not wishing for that to happen, but I am only saying that it is a possibility.

Therefore, please consider seriously what your father is saying to you and make plans to join him.


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