I can't trust my flirtatious man


July 23, 2016

Dear Pastor

I've always enjoyed reading your column and I've learnt a great deal from your articles that have been published. I want to commend you for your great work.

I'm a 19-year-old female and dating a 30-year-old guy who has a three-year-old child. We've been dating for the past six months and we've had sexual intercourse twice during that period of time.

I am going abroad to live in the next two months. When we first met, I explained the situation to this man, that I won't be living in Jamaica and he was OK with it, so we pursued the relationship.

He also explained to me that he likes to flirt a lot, but it never means anything. However, I find it hard to trust what he's saying. He has told me that he loves me and he hasn't given me, any reason to doubt that he doesn't.

But because of his flirtatious ways, I am doubtful that he will stay faithful while I'm away.

Pastor, I am deeply in love with this man and I do not want to lose him, even though my family dislikes him. I am wholeheartedly ready to invest my life with him.

On the other hand, I don't know if he's ready to do the same. He has said that he sees a future with me and he's ready to invest his life with me, but sometimes I find it hard to believe him.

Pastor, I'm asking you for your help and advice about this situation. I will be awaiting your response.

Confused Lover

Dear Confused Lover,

You have only been having a relationship with this man for six months. That is not a long time.

You are a very young girl. You have a lot to learn about love. If you and this man remain intimate friends when you go to live abroad, you are going to discover that long-distance relationship is difficult to deal with. Long-distance relationships cause strain on each person.

You have declared that you do not trust this man. If you don't trust him while you are here in Jamaica, what will make you trust him while you are abroad? It would take a miracle to keep the relationship together.

Your relatives are not encouraging you in this relationship. They are correct. You should listen to them. It is likely that this man is going to continue to run around with his women, but at the same time try to assure you that you are the only woman in his life. Don't believe him.


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