I am pregnant for a married man!


July 27, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am 25 years old and I am pregnant for a married man. He is 31 years old and his wife is 65 years old.

I always ask him to use a condom, but he doesn't. He keeps on saying that he won't get me pregnant. I always tell him that I don't want a baby with him because he is married and I don't want to bring a child in their marriage.

When I got pregnant he said to me, "Why you tek so long to be mine?" I asked him, "How can I be yours and you are married?" Even though I know it's not right, I asked him for money to do an abortion and he told me that he wouldn't give me any money to do it.

I don't take contraceptives because I get sick while on them. I would bleed for 15 days or more if I don't see a doctor, so I am off it and he knows that.

I have a four-year-old son and I wasn't ready for a next child. Even if I was ready, I didn't want it to be with a married man because I am a child of a married man and it didn't turn out well.

I told his wife that I am pregnant but I don't want to keep the baby because he is married, and she told me, "He won't give you any money to do it because we have been married for 10 years now and he has gotten a next girl pregnant and she wanted to do an abortion, but he didn't give her the money.

"He is not a father to any of his children. He got three children and none with me."

This man is a liar. He tells me too may lies. He told me he has two children and he has been married for three years.

I even tried home remedies to get rid of the pregnancy, but I wasn't killing the baby, I was killing myself.

I am now three months pregnant. The guy and I still talk because I am pregnant for him. I want to stop talking to him, but don't know how I will maintain my baby.


Dear D.S.,

If this man's wife is 65 years old and both of them have been married for 10 years, how old was he when they got married?

And if this man is such a womaniser and irresponsible, why has she stayed with him? Evidently, she had decided to allow him to have children with other women because she has passed the age of childbearing.

In any case, she is not encouraging you to have an abortion, and rightly so.

If your father was married when he impregnated your mother, you should have been more careful and not allow a married man to get you pregnant.

You say you were not on contraceptives because it affected you and this man doesn't believe in using a condom. You should have insisted that the condom should be used or denied him sex.

You have not used wisdom. I cannot encourage you to have an abortion, but I would say to you that you should consider giving up the child for adoption after you have given birth. You should call the Adoption Board and discuss the matter with them.


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