I want to leave my entertainer husband
I listen to you every night and I read your comments in THE STAR. You are doing a good work.
I am a 23-year-old woman. I got married one year ago and since then my husband has changed.
When I met him he was so sweet. He is an entertainer. He never stays home. I asked him, how come he had time for me when we just met and now he doesn't have any time? He said that it is because at that time, he didn't have the responsibilities he has now.
Pastor, that is not true. What I heard is that he has two other women, so he has to divide his time between them.
I asked him about them. He said that these girls only work for him. One of his girlfriends called me on my cell. I asked her how she got my number and she said that I don't need to be concerned about that, but she is asking me to make it easy on myself and leave my husband. If I don't, she will make trouble for me.
When my husband came home, I asked him who she was; he denied knowing her. I asked him how she got my number and he said that one of his friends might have given her the number.
I was hoping to get pregnant soon after we got married, it didn't' happen. Now, I don't want to have children for my husband any more. I want to leave my husband.
My father is a pastor and he loves him, but I told him that he is keeping other women and ignoring me. He called him and spoke to him. My husband was very upset. He told me I can go with my father if I want and leave him at anytime, because he is not giving up his women.
I told him he can't get both his girls and me at the same time. He said that he prefers his girls.
The pastor of the church I attend told me not to leave him, he will change. But he doesn't know half the things I have to endure with this man.
I refuse to have sex with him. If he had cheated and not given me an infection and asked me to forgive him, I would have; but now he is telling me he doesn't care.
What can I do, Pastor? I am planning to further my education and I want to put this man in his place. Please tell me what to do.
Dear Y. B.,
Your husband is very disrespectful. His mouth and his penis will get him in trouble.
He admitted that he has women and he is not going to leave them. You are quite correct in telling him that he has to make a choice. It is either the girls or you, and he has declared that he is going to stay with his girls.
I cannot encourage you to walk away from your relationship in a hurry. What I would suggest that you do is to contact a family counsellor who is not related to you in anyway, and make an appointment to see him/her.
Before you make that call, tell your husband what you intend to do. Let him know that you are unhappy and you would like both of you to go and see a counsellor. If he says that he is not interested in seeing a family counsellor, you should go alone and listen to what the counsellor suggests.
If your husband makes it miserable for you to remain at the house, you should see a lawyer and let him/her advice you on the matter.
I know that you have only been married for a year, but no man should make his wife feel uncomfortable and unhappy at home and be so bold in declaring that he has other women and that his wife can do whatever she pleases. You just need to do what is right.