My man wants a child, I don't


July 30, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I have been in a relationship for six years now. My boyfriend is 47 and I am 40. He wants a child, but I don't want any more because I already have a son. When I met him, he told me he had a daughter but that she was living in the US with her mother. My son is 20 and is living with me.

Everything was going well until about two years into the relationship, he began to tell me that he want a child. I told him that I didn't want any more children. Now, he is saying that he is getting old and that he has worked too hard to let lazy people inherit his labour. He was the one who sent his daughter to the US because he was not sure if the child was his because the lady was living with her man and they had a bet, so the child is the result of the bet.

So now he wants a child. I told him why I didn't want a child, but he's not listening. He is now talking about going outside to get one. I told him that I would leave him and he doesn't want me to leave, but he wants a child. Pastor, what should I do? I am not going to get pregnant by choice unless the contraceptive stops working. Thanks for reading, much love.


Dear S.

What this man doesn't understand is that if you were to get pregnant now, you would not be happy because you have closed your mind towards children. You don't want any more, and if you were to get pregnant now, you would not love the child and be a good mother to him or her. Your husband might be glad to see you pregnant, but you would be unhappy. So I hope that your man will understand and not force you to become pregnant.

I do not get the impression that you and this man are married. He talks about not leaving his assets to anyone who is lazy. I wonder whether he is referring to your son. He might not be, but he would feel satisfied to have his own "seed", so to speak, inherit his wealth. If you on the other hand insist that you will not allow him to impregnate you, you should end this relationship with this man.


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