In a stressful relationship with an older man


July 30, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you in tears. I am in a relationship that is very stressful. My spouse manipulates and abuses me. I am 25 years old and my spouse is 52 years old. His children are very disrespectful to me because they are older than I. His relatives do not treat me well because I am young. This man also wanted to force me to engage in a threesome and all of these things are happening to me because I do not have anywhere else to go. I have been with this man since I was 16. What should I do?


Dear Unhappy,

You say that you do not have anywhere to go; you will have to find a place. You haven't said anything about your relatives. You have been with this man since you were 16 years old. I hope that when you went to live with him, you didn't curse your side of family. Perhaps they are very poor, but there must be one who will be willing to take you in if you are willing to humble yourself.

I look in the newspaper and I see folks seeking jobs as helpers and day's workers. I would like to suggest to you that you try and get one of these jobs if you do not have any qualifications to do anything else. If you were to live and work as a live-in helper, you would right away have a place to stay and you would be earning some money. You may do that type of work and go back to school.

I know a young woman who was a helper and while doing that work, she studied and took her exams, passed and went to college and eventually became a principal. You are only 25 years old and you don't have to be sucking up to this man. You should try to have the courage to leave him. Don't tell yourself that you are helpless. Tell yourself you can do it and whatever you want to do with the help of God. This man's children do not love and respect you, and they never will, and this man is only a user. Leave him.


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