I got my friend’s wife pregnant


June 06, 2017
Pregnant mother

Dear Pastor,

I am engaged to my girlfriend and we are planning to get married. I have always wanted to get married to a Christian girl and I have found one. She does not give me any trouble. But some people told her that I am a wild man and she should not have anything to do with me.

She discusses these things with me and I told her that I have changed. I believe I have convinced her, but the devil is still in my way because I am faced with a problem, and it is bigger than I can handle.

I have a friend and he is married. I go to his house all the time. Before he got married to this woman, she and I had sex a few times. All of us were at a wedding reception recently and he had to go on night duty. So he asked me if I could take his wife home when I was leaving. I agreed.

This woman and I saw it as another opportunity to play around. I didn't take her straight to her house. She was already under her liquor. I took her to a certain place and even before I parked, she was all over me. I told her I did not have any condom. She said she couldn't get pregnant because she was within her safe period. I didn't understand what she was saying. But she said that she practises the rhythm method and she knew that she was safe and could not get pregnant.

This woman was so eager to have sex. I accepted what she said and we had our time. Now, I am not feeling so comfortable. I am in distress because this woman is now telling me that she believes that she is pregnant. And she knows that I am the one responsible for her pregnancy, because her husband doesn't have sex with her without using a condom. He even sleeps with a condom under his pillow.

Pastor, her husband and I play tennis together. He trusts me with his wife. He never knew that both of us had sex before they got married. When he wanted to propose to her, he came to me and told me, and I encouraged him.

How can I deal with this matter? I cannot tell my girlfriend that I got my friend's wife pregnant. I am so confused over this matter.


Dear T.B.,

Evidently, you were not aware that a man should not take a woman's word that she will never get pregnant. The truth is, she cannot be absolutely sure. The rhythm method is not safe.

Women should not rely on that method. According to studies, "out of 1,000 women who were using the rhythm method for one year, approximately 140 of them could expect to become pregnant". Therefore, if this woman told you that her husband has faithfully used the condom over the years, and he did so after both of you had sexual intercourse, the information is clear that you are responsible for her pregnancy.

I do not know what you are going to do. You did not give your age or the woman's age, but I say to you, sir, that you are very careless. I hope you won't hold what I am about to say to you against me. But it goes beyond carelessness.

You are a wicked man. Your friend trusted you with his wife. You could have taken her home and not had sex with her. You may consider her a bad woman. Yes, she is loose and she had too much to drink, but as a responsible man, you should never had sex with a woman who is not in full control of herself.

Whatever happens, face up to it. I can't encourage this woman to do an abortion. No way will I suggest that that is the route to take.


Other Tell Me Pastor Stories