My babymother didn't tell me about her two kids


June 08, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. I have three children and I am living with a woman who is presently pregnant for me. My three children are with their mother in America. I see them once a year. I used to live in America, but I am no longer there.

My present babymother lied to me when I first met her. She is much younger than she first said. She told me that she was 27, but she is only 22. She looks much older than her age.

I am 40 years old and I am still married. She has two children, but they are not living with her. She did not tell me about her two children. These two children are staying with different cousins. Every time I talk to her about fooling me, she said that we should concentrate on the future.

My life is a mess. I don't know her children. I am so upset. I am thinking that when the baby is born, she should go her way and leave the baby with me.

My mother told me that she would care for the child this woman is expecting. I am trying to buy a piece of land to build a house. I am the only son my mother has and I want to help her, and make her comfortable.

I didn't go after my babymother because I wanted a young chick. I saw her and loved her. But if I knew she had two children, I would not have touched her.


Dear P.K.,

Do not make any hasty decisions. This young woman did not tell you the truth about her age. Lots of men do the same thing to women. They lie about their age to women. And they use the excuse that if they had told the women their correct age, the women wouldn't want them.

I am going to suggest to you that you give this woman all the support you can. Don't threaten her that you would leave her. That wouldn't solve anything. It would cause her lots of stress. Remember, she is carrying your child. She is a liar, yes, but she is going to be the mother of your child. Give her the moral support so that she can have a very healthy pregnancy.

After this woman has given birth, you will have lots of time to think about your future. I am sure if you were to discuss my suggestion with your mother, she would agree with me.


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