I'm a prostitute, but I have a man


June 09, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to ask for your advice so that I can make a very important decision. I am a 29-year-old woman. I have three children, but only one with my boyfriend. I have had sexual relations with many men. I grew up the rough way. Sex for money was a common thing among my friends and myself as girls.

The easiest way to get money was to catch a man and tell him lies. Some of the men knew that we were lying to them.

I met a guy a few years ago. He was in Jamaica doing business, and he invited me to his hotel. When I went to the hotel to visit him, the first thing he told me was to turn off my phone. I told him I would put it on silent, but he said, 'No, turn it totally off'. I asked him what if my mother and my boyfriend were trying to reach me, and he said I could leave and go to my boyfriend.

I had to play the role. He turned off his phone and I turned off mine. Then he asked me to show him what I had in my bag. I told him that what I had in my bag was private. He said that what he had in his pants is called 'private' and it is his private that he was going to use on me. I opened my bag and showed him what I had in there.

I became afraid of this man. He told me that girls like to set up men, and he did not want anybody to set him up because he is a married man. I spent hours with man, but it was not all sex. We played games and talked about family. When I saw it was getting late, I went behind him and rubbed his head and told him that I was ready. He got down on me and spent a short time having sex with me. Then he asked me how much I would have made on the street that night, and I told him about $10,000. He gave me the $10,000 and told me that whenever he comes back to Jamaica he would contact me.

I haven't heard from him as yet. You could see that this man does not trust women. I told some of my girlfriends what I had to go through with this man, and that I would not go back to him again. But they all said that I would be a fool not to go back if he calls again.

Do you think that I should have turned off my phone when I was with him? I know he gave me his correct name because when I went to the hotel, he was registered in that name.

My friends told me I should have charged him and not just wait on him to ask me how much I would have made on the street.


Dear V.R.,

This man was trying his best to have a good time with you but was conscious that he wanted to preserve his marriage. It is always risky for any man to have sexual encounter with another woman who is in the business of selling sex.

He knew that many women have had sex with men who are foreigners, and after coming to know who they were, they accuse the men of rape to get more money out of them, even though the sex was consensual. So, he was doing his best to protect himself, and, by extension, his entire family.

What this man wanted was not only sex. He probably wanted female company, and that is why he did not only engage in sexual activity but in games and so on. Looking at it seriously, $10,000 is not a lot of money for a man to spend on a woman. It was not even US$100. But you told him that on the street you would have made about $10,000, so he gave that amount to you. No wonder your girlfriends told you that you went about the business the wrong way.

From what you have said, you have been selling sex for a long time, and I am wondering whether you would be willing to seek a job and give up this type of life. This man embarrassed you. He wanted you to turn off your phone. He wanted to see what was in your bag.

When this man comes back to Jamaica and he calls you, I hope you will have the courage to tell him no.

By the way, you have a boyfriend, what did you tell him about your whereabouts on that particular night?

You should really try to seek a job and stop selling your body. You know that it is a risky work.


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