Didn't know my father had 'outside children'


June 12, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 and a university student. My parents are separated. My mother works very hard. My father has always had many women.

Quite recently, I found out that my father has two outside children. We did not know about them. One of them is very nice. I met both of them in person at a funeral.


My father was at the funeral and when I was told these were our brothers I was shocked. One of them said he heard about me, and the other said, "You don't look like us."

My mother was very upset. She tried to tell me to leave and not to listen to the nonsense. Since then, I have asked my father whether these guys are my brothers and he said yes.

He said my mother knew that he had these children.

He didn't invite them to our house because my mother would not accept them. But he told her about them when their mothers were pregnant.

One of my brothers has invited me to spend the weekend with him and his fiancEe, and my mother is making a fuss over it. That is the reason I am writing for your opinion. I would take into consideration whatever you say.


Dear E.G.,

Your mother was aware that your father has always had many women. It should not have come as a surprise to hear that he has two sons outside of the marriage.

He said he told your mother about the children. She could have blocked it out of her mind, not wanting to believe that he has outside children.

But now that you have met your brothers and you were invited by one of them to spend the weekend with his lady friend and him, I do not see any reason why you should not accept the invitation.

I believe that you should respectfully inform your mother that you intend to go. Perhaps you can test the waters by spending one day and a night at his house.

Perhaps, you could go on a Friday evening and leave on the Saturday afternoon. You will determine whether or not you like it and wish to return at another time.

That's how I see it. Talk to your father about it.


Other Tell Me Pastor Stories