He is a lying cheating bastard


June 26, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am a 23-year-old female. I've been in a relationship with a young man for five years now. After we met and fell in love, I found out that he smokes and has children. I have never wanted a man who smokes or has children, but I placed that aside and loved him nonetheless.


This man doesn't seem to appreciate me. He has cheated on me several times. I've grown not to love him anymore because of all the things he has put me through. We don't trust each other anymore. If I cannot do something for him when he asks, he argues and behaves in the most disgraceful way, even though I have always been doing it.

I feel like I'm being taken for granted. The best of him is when he comes home to his hot dinner and the house is rearranged. I don't feel like I'm in a relationship, but it's hard to step away and I don't know why.

Please advise me.


Dear C.B.,

Every relationship must be built on trust, respect and good communication. Evidently, these are not factors in the relationship that you are having with your boyfriend.

I find it difficult to understand why it took you so long to realise that this man smokes and that he has children. How could he have hidden his smoking habit? If both of you were intimate, you should have found out that he is a smoker, and a good father would say something about his children. So, clearly, you were deceived by this man.

From what you have said, this relationship will not get anywhere because it has started on deceit. This man has not been true or faithful to you and you are wasting your time with him.

You said you are 23 years old; you have not said whether you are working or have a profession. If you are not working, you need to seek a job, and I would encourage you to go to school regardless of your status in life.


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