Sex no longer sweet with my lying husband

Sex no longer sweet with my lying husband

Dear Pastor

I hope you can help me. I have been married twice. My first husband and I are divorced. My present husband has a child with a lady in western Jamaica, when he went there to work. I knew about the child but I did not know the child was his. He got his twin brother to pretend that he was the father of the child. He used to send money for the child and he would tell me that his twin brother sent him the money for him to give to the mother.

When I asked him why his brother did not send the money directly to the mother and he said he did not want the woman to know where exactly he is in America.

Pastor, I did not question it any longer, but one day I was going through his phone and saw some text messages from a woman. I realised that that was the child's mother. She was telling my husband that she was longing to see him and to hold him and to spend some time with him.

I did not tell my husband anything. I wrote her number down and I wrote down some of the things she said. And one day, I asked him when last he was in touch with his brother and he said last month and he is hoping to hear from him because he has to get money to his babymother.

I broke out the whole story to him and told him that he is a liar. He never said a word. I started to beat him with the mop stick and he tried to hold me. I was talking loud so he got up and went away. I didn't want the neighbours to hear what was happening neither did he. From that day our relationship went down the hill.

I couldn't believe my husband was such a liar. At first, when I confronted him, he said the child was not his. And when I told him that we should call the mother of the child, he backed away.

It took me six months before I could have sex with my husband again. And the sex is not as sweet as before because even while having sex I am remembering that my husband is a cheater and when he cheated on me, he did not protect himself. How can I get over this problem?

D.L

Dear D.L

I am glad that your husband and yourself are still together and I suggest that both of you should make an appointment to see a family counsellor. You have forgiven him, but it is hard for you to trust him as before. I could imagine how you beat him with the mop stick.

You said that making love doesn't feel as before. That is because you are still worried about what he did. You have forgiven him but you do not know whether he has become involved with another woman or continuing to have and intimate relation with this woman. So, please make an appointment to see a counsellor and when you see the counsellor, speak freely.

Pastor