My husband slept with my friend


July 01, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 40 years old and my husband is 42. We are having problems. When we were having children, life was very hard.

I was working, but at one time, my husband lost his job and he suggested to me that he go to the United States to work.

I did not agree. I told him that we should stay in Jamaica and 'suck salt' together.

Things got very hard and we lost our house. Following that, we lost our car. We couldn't find money for the children to go to school.

A friend in the US told me that she could help me to get a job. I told her I did not want to leave my job, but she could help my husband to get a job because he is willing to come.

She said that she would talk to her husband, but her husband and herself were having issues.

Two weeks after, she called me back and told me that my husband could come. We were excited, so off he went. He got a job and he sent money home every week.


He was up there for three months, and during his time, my so-called girlfriend of many years took him over and they started to have an affair.

He was not supposed to be living there, but he was living there without my knowledge. Her husband called me and told me that he went to the house and saw my husband and his wife making love.

And when his wife saw him, she said, "You are not supposed to come here without informing me," and he told them that he would call me and tell me what he saw.

My husband has admitted it, but I can't get over it because I have been faithful to him all these years we have been married, and I believed he was faithful to me until he went to the US.

He told me that if I wanted him to come home, he would come.

My friend is not talking to me. Every time I call and try to talk to her, she is busy and she says she will call me back.

My heart is full. I can't let any of the children know what their daddy has done.


Dear N.P.,

I am sure that your husband and yourself meant well. Both of you were going through a very difficult period, and unfortunately, it resulted in losing your house and your car and you were unable to send your children to school. So you felt the alternative was for him to seek employment outside of Jamaica.

I am sure that you did not think your husband would have become sexually involved with your friend. Perhaps he never thought that would happen either.

You were not aware that this woman and her husband were having problems and he would be living elsewhere.

When two healthy people are together constantly and sleeping in the same house, anything can happen. So your husband and this woman fell for each other, and the rest is history.

Your husband has admitted that he became sexually involved with your friend and is willing to return home just as he went, empty-handed. Your friend has refused to talk to you.

I believe she is embarrassed. You should leave her alone. Perhaps one day she may feel more comfortable in talking to you.

In the meantime, you should ask your husband to leave her home and find another place to stay. I hope you will not blame yourself for anything.

I do hope that your husband will not go further with the relationship he was having with your friend.


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