My wife doesn't like to bathe


July 07, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 25 years old and I got married in January to a woman in her 40s. It was not an official marriage. We did it because both of us attend a church and the rule is, we must get married before we can sleep together. I do not have children, but my wife has three.

Now that we have got married to fulfil the requirement of our religion, we would like to get married the legal way.

But, pastor, I have found faults in this woman and I don't want to go through with the legal marriage. Another thing, this woman doesn't want to go out and work.

She wants me to take care of her and the children. I told her they are not my children and she said they are mine because we are married.

When I told my mother I was going to get married, she told me I was crazy. Now I cannot tell my mother what I am going through.

She doesn't bathe every day and she wants me to sleep with her. She says if I love her, I must accept her as she is and don't complain.

Her children are respectful. I don't have any problem with them, I am having problem with her. I want my wife to be clean and smell good.

Do you think it is wrong for me to divorce her? Pastor, please, give me your advice.


Dear I.D.,

You claim that this woman and you are married. In Jamaica, unless the wedding was legal - and when I say 'legal', I mean it was conducted according to the law, by a marriage officer who was appointed by the government - it is not official. Therefore, you are not married in the true sense of the word.

Some men take women and call them their wives. They say that is what the Bible says they ought to do. But we are living in a country with laws, and we should follow the laws of the land.

I would suggest that you run from this woman. You are a young man and you made a mistake. You are with a woman who does not practise proper hygiene.

She has her reasons why she does not take her bath daily. Tell her you are going to leave and the day you tell her, move out and don't go back.


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