I've never had a good father figure


July 18, 2017

Dear Pastor,

First, I'd like to say that you're doing amazing work. I am in need of your help so badly. I need someone to talk to. I am 18 years old and I've been with so many men in my life and it seems as though none of them are enough.

Recently, I talked to someone and they said it could be that I have father issues. When I realised that it may be true, I became depressed.

I have never had a good relationship with my father and my stepfather used to abuse me in every form. So I have never had a father figure in my life. I have been searching for that love that I never got.

I lost the longest relationship that I have ever had a couple of days ago. I came clean to him about everything and he was not pleased at all, so he broke up with me.

Right now, I am seeking help for my issue because if I don't, I fear I might never overcome my depression. But I have no one to talk to or money to seek professional help. I will be awaiting your response. Thank you.


Dear R.B.,

I wish you had sent me your telephone number. I would have communicated with you by phone and asked you questions that would help me to clarify some of what you have said.

I am sorry to hear that you have been abused and that you are reaching out for help.

You said you don't have anyone to talk to. That is why I regret that you did not send your phone number. Although, from time to time, I have referred people to see counsellors, it is always good to know a little about their background.

For example, I would want to know whether you are in school, working or sitting at home depending on men to support you. Do you go to church? What about your siblings? Are your parents employed?

You see, what I am trying to say is, people may write to me and say they are unable to pay for counselling. But the truth is they can pay.

However, we would never deny help to one who is truly in need of it, if that person cannot pay a professional.

You say you need someone to talk to, I will be glad to talk to you and if I am fully satisfied that you need further help, I will refer you to a counsellor or a psychologist.

My office number is 929-1667 and my cell number is 877-1009. I look forward to hearing from you very soon.


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