My babymother doesn't want to get married


July 21, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 25 years old and I have been living with my babymother for three years. Right now, she is pregnant again. When I told her that we should get married, she told me that she is not ready and as her parents are not married, she can't get married before her mother is married.

My parents are married and they know that my woman is not interested in getting married. I have two brothers and they are married. One of my sisters is married, and the other one is engaged. My father told me that I should not pressure my babymother to marry me.

Some people think that we are married. I bought her an engagement ring a long time ago and she is wearing it, but that's all she is doing. People call her Mrs so-and-so and she answers. We get along well. We don't argue. We don't fight. She makes sure that the house is clean, and that when I am home, I am comfortable. We play and we talk about everything. The only time we disagree is over politics. She supports one party and I support the other. Her parents support the party I support.

I asked her father why he wouldn't marry her mother, and he said the Lord says you must just take a woman for your wife, He did not say anything about getting married. Furthermore, he said some of his friends lived with women for years, and as soon as they get married, they broke up.

I want you to talk to this woman for me. I don't intend to leave her, but I don't like the life we live. I told her that we have to set good examples for the children. We have good jobs and we got a house through Housing Trust. I come home early every night to hear your show. Tell me how we can meet with you for a talk.


Dear J.T.,

I am glad that you have found yourself a good woman. She is not having a relationship with you because she wants to get married. She is with you because she loves you and that is the main reason for a couple to be together.

Both of you are doing well. You have been able to buy property together. Don't be worried because this woman has not yet said yes to you.

Recently, I officiated at a wedding, and at the wedding, the man said to his wife, "You see how long I have been asking you to marry me. I could have been married a long time ago, if you had accepted my proposal," and the bride agreed.

Well, it is said that nothing goes on before the time. If you continue to treat this lady well, she wouldn't leave you. Of course, I would be glad to meet with both of you. Call my office and set an appointment with my assistant to see me. My office number is 929-1667 and my cell number is 877-1009. Take it easy, my friend. You have a good woman.


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