My man's babymother is threatening to fight me


July 22, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am a 23 years old woman, and I am in love with a man. He is 30 years old, and he runs his own business. I go to his business place and help him on weekends. Occasionally, I work with him on a Sunday because I go to his house and wash and clean for him. He has a babymother, and every Friday she comes to the business place to get money for their little girl. Every time she comes and she sees me, she sulks. If he is at the back and I am sitting at the front desk, she doesn't say good morning or good afternoon. She comes in and shouts his name.

One day when she came in and shouted his name, I asked her what I could do for her, and she said nothing. She was only there to pick up money for this man's child. And she asked me why I am there alone on a Saturday. I told her that I was there to work and it was not her business.

I told my boyfriend that I do not want to come there and let this woman see me. My boyfriend spoke to her in my presence and she promised that wherever she sees me on the road, she is going to beat me. I know this girl can't manage me. And if we were to get into a fight, she wouldn't beat me, I would beat her.

My boyfriend stood up for me, but the way he did it is causing me to believe that he was too soft, and they seemed to have something going still. He is saying nothing like that. I have not gone back to his office, but I have gone to his home, and she has never come there while I am there. On weekends, I clean, wash and cook for him.

being careful

How can I know if he is still in love with his babymother? I searched his house when I am there cleaning and he is not there. I don't see anything in the house for her, so I don't know what to say. Can a man be that careful?

The neighbours know me, because when I go there, I don't hide and they know that I am not his helper. I don't have any children, but I would like to have a child for him. He said I should wait until we are married. I am giving him two more years. If in two years he doesn't propose to me, I am going to leave him for a guy I met on the Internet, who told me that he loves me. He is an American guy, but I haven't told this man about him as yet.

What do you think I should do?


Dear K.L.,

The reaction of your boyfriend's babymother gives the impression that the both of them might still be having an intimate relationship. She finds it strange that you are there so often on weekends, and she suspects that you and this man are having a sexual relationship.

She doesn't appear to have good manners. She is threatening you, and it is likely that the man and herself are still going together. Maybe they are not as close as they were, but the relationship is not dead. She might feel that you are in her way, and had it not been for you, this man would be showing her more interest.

Please don't fight over a man. That doesn't make any sense at all. Time will tell if this man is lying to you.

In the meantime, you have been talking to a guy from America. I am getting to understand that you are not putting all your eggs into one basket. You have established friendship with the guy in America because you are really not sure what will happen with you and the businessman.

Remember, this is a long-distance relationship with you and the guy in America and people lie about themselves on the Internet. They big up themselves, as the saying goes, and behave as if they are important when they are not even sprats. So, you be careful. If you truly love the man in Jamaica and you believe he is telling you the truth, work with him and don't push him away. You are young. You don't have to fret about not having children.


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