My boyfriend is pressuring me to sleep over


July 27, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 20 years old and my boyfriend is six years older than me. We have been together from I was 17. We love each other unconditionally.

The problem I'm facing is that he wants me to sleep over and spend time with him. I told him my mother won't allow me to do so.

I used to sleep over at his house for days, but I told my mother I was going to my friend, who she knows. I decided to stop using her as an excuse.

My boyfriend and I are now arguing over it. He told me he is going to move on because I am still a child and he needs someone who would live him with and have his child.

I told him I am not ready for a child because I am focusing on my studies, and I can't live with him as yet. We argued and he said he wants me to spend time at his house.

On another point, I also don't feel safe when he's driving because he drives fast and plays loud music. Whenever I complain he says I am too old-fashioned and boring.

During one argument, he said that if I have a man in mind, I should take him because he is going to move on.

When I refused to speak with him because of the things he said to me, he apologised and told me he did it for me to adjust things.

We are good now, but I am still thinking about the things he said to me. Please give me your advice.


Dear S.D.,

This man means every word he said. He would like you to leave your parents home every weekend and spend the days with him.

He is not interested whether or not you are going to school. Attending school is not very important to him. What he wants is for you to be at his house so that he can have sex with you.

You made a mistake when you lied to your mother and told her that you were going to spend time at one of your friends.

Now that you realise what you were doing was wrong and you told this man that you cannot continue to lie and be with him, he is threatening that he will end the relationship with you.

Whether you know it or not, if he cannot respect your decision and try to compromise with you, it is better for him to go.

You can lose on him, but if you study hard and pass your exams, you will not lose on your education. So don't allow him to get you scared through his threats.

You told him that you are not ready for a child. Stand firm on that. Don't allow him to trick you and to get you pregnant.

This guy doesn't have much respect for you. He is a user and he does not know how to treat women. Don't go back to his house. He is not a dignified man.


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