Is he in love with me?


August 02, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 45 years old and I work as a caregiver. I am taking care of a man who is 78 years old. I live in, and his children pay me well. Every week I get two days off. Another lady takes over from me. I don't have to leave when I get my days off, but most times I do. Whenever I am not there, the lady who works in my space tells me that the man hardly wants to eat from her and he is always asking when I am coming back.

It has been two years since I am working with the family. I came here soon after his wife died. I have another problem, pastor. This man has three sons, but one of them is very friendly to me. He is not married and he is 50 years old. He doesn't live in Jamaica. Sometimes when he calls, he will only ask me a few questions about his father. After that, he will just talk to me about all different kinds of things. He has never been rude and never asked me for a relationship. He is going around and around and around, but can't come out with the words: "I love you" or "I want us to be friends".

He came to Jamaica in Easter, but he was only here for four days. One of his sisters was here at the same time. He was friendly as usual. I thought he would show interest in me, but he didn't and his sister and himself would go out every day. But as soon as he went back, he started calling me again and spending hours on the phone.

Do you think this man loves me? I have a daughter who is a teenager and she was here with me for one week during the holidays. She lives with my mother. One day, she asked me if this man loves me. I asked her why she asked that, and she said it is because he calls me every day. So even my daughter suspects this man.

I am confused. I don't know what to do.


Dear V.B.,

Evidently, this family appreciates you very much. The 78-year-old man has gotten to love you and whenever you are not around, he misses you. He knows that you treat him very well. I can only encourage you to do your very best. You don't want to be in a position where you are out of a job, because good jobs are very hard to get.

Concerning his son who spends a long time on the phone talking to you, I don't know his motive and I hate to tell you to try to figure him out. It is never wise to judge a person's motive. One can say that he loves and appreciate you because you do a good job in taking care of his father. However, one can guess that he can encourage you with a few words and say good night.

He has never told you that he loves you. He has never given you the impression that he wants to be intimate with you; so until he does so, you should not behave as if he wants you to be anything else but to be his father's caregiver. Do your job and do it well. You have not said whether you have a man in your life and whether this man has asked you if you have one.

I am wondering what kind of conversation the son of your employer could carry on with you at nights for a long time. Whatever he may have in his mind, make sure you don't lead him on.


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