I can't sleep when my mother is having sex


August 03, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 15 years old and the only child for my mother. My father and my mother lived for three years after I was born, then they separated. My father has seven children with different women. Although my father and my mother are separated, he comes by and sleeps over with her. She could not get my father to settle down with her. She became involved with another man, but he is living abroad. My mother has never told my father about him. This man is much older than my mother. He came back to Jamaica and married my mother.

My mother and I live in a small apartment. It was a big one-room apartment that her husband helped her to buy, and my mother divided the room so that both of us could have privacy. Whenever my stepfather and my mother are having sex, the whole neighbourhood can know. He makes lots of noises, and she tries to tell him not to be so loud. I could hear everything what they were doing and saying.


He uses the 'p' word and the 'f' word. My mother had to tell him that I am in the other room. It was so bad one night that I recorded them and played it back to my mother. She said that she will send me to stay with my uncle and his wife until her husband goes back to America.

I told my mother that I would put a pillow over my ears. It seems as if my mother spoke to him, because I did not hear any more bad words, but it's like he was tearing down the place. At one point, I heard my mother saying, "All right, all right, done nuh."

This experience has brought my mother and myself closer together. She said she will never hide anything about men from me. This man sends my mother money every two weeks, and he is hoping to file for her. I told my mother that she should tell my father that she got married. She said he was out of the picture long ago. I told her so because after her husband left, my father came and she allowed him to sleep over with her.

Do you believe that I should tell my father that my mother got married? Whatever you say, I will do.


Dear D.B.,

Your mother told you that your father is out of the picture but he is not, because he comes by from time to time and sleeps with her. Evidently, she still loves him. It is either love or she still wants to get money from him, not only to support you, but also for herself.

I will not encourage you to say anything to your father unless he asks you if she got married. You will be obligated, then, to either tell him the truth or to suggest to him that he should ask her.

Your mother is not setting any good example for you, and that is very unfortunate.


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