Babymother tek mi fi fool


August 08, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your columns for years now, and trust me, I love the advice that you have been giving over the years. I have been having some very serious issues, and I am very uncomfortable. I have a four-month-old son, and I am currently living with my babymother.

From the start of the relationship, she has not been working, so it is just me alone. And, Pastor, I do my best to make them happy. We live at her mother's place, and most times, they try to disrespect me in the smartest way. I will do anything at the house for them, and that causes me to be late for work most of the time. I got fired twice for being late. However, I found another job immediately.

We don't pay rent, but I help to pay the light bill most times. But when I do, I can hardly find money to go to work. My mother-in-law is ungrateful and pressuring because I literally do everything. I cook, wash and clean, and I still have to go to work. I even wash the baby's clothes and hers as well, while she stays at home and watches television.

I got fired again but was successful in an interview, so I'll start working soon.

When my babymother gets money, she does what pleases her, like buy fast food that I don't eat. Sometimes I go to work hungry and come back home hungry. I took out a loan, and because of her, it's hard to pay back, but my mother has been trying to help me.

Pastor, I want to move from around her. But I love her and I don't want a day to pass without being around my son. However, I can't take the disrespect, and I don't want to do anything stupid.

What should I do, Pastor? Please help me.

Thanks in advance.


Dear C.W.,

You are not talking like a Jamaican man. You are not behaving like one. Something is wrong with you. Which Jamaican man would allow his child's mother to get up and not take care of her child? She won't wash his clothes or clean the house or prepare breakfast or even lunch for her man and her man is paying the bills. Any man who tolerates that should be ashamed to call himself Jamaican.

I am not saying that he ought to be a bully, but he should never tolerate such nonsense. Oh, if he is living in the woman's parents' house and he doesn't have any talk, then he could suffer such abuse. But, sir, you have talk. You pay the bills. You are behaving like a sissy. Washing and cleaning and allowing your woman to watch television and to buy fast food is telling her that you are a fool.

You need to get real and get out of that house, and go and rent a place on your own. Support your child every week, and you would do much better financially. Your child's mother should go out and seek a job. You are fortunate to be getting employment after being late so often. Your luck will run out one day, so cut the foolishness out and be a man! Right now, you are allowing this woman to lead you, and she would never do better if you don't put your foot down. But you will not be able to put your foot down or raise your voice as long as you are in her mother's house.

I hope your mother will not only help you to pay back your loan, but encourage you to get out of this woman's house.


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