My lover is too broke to help me


August 17, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I have been single for a while now. I have met some men, but none of them seem to be interested in a relationship. All they wanted was sex. I recently met somebody who seems to be exactly the type that I am looking for, personality-wise. He's nice, very ambitious and very motivated. He's going to college. He has a dream which he's working on, and I believe in him.

The issue that I am having is that he is not in a good job, and he's not living in a good place. He does not have any assets. I am not in a good job either, and I have more responsibilities than he does. Sometimes I am in a tight spot where I need just a little help, but he cannot help me at all because he has no money.

Right now, I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should stick it out with him and wait until he is finished with school and get a better job, or if I should move on. Sixty per cent of the time I think I should wait, and the other times I think I am making a mistake.

Pastor, what do you think I should do?


Dear L.H.,

While I believe that from time to time a man should give his woman monetary help, I am very much against a woman relying on a man for financial support, or giving the impression that that is the primary reason why she is in a relationship with him. And believe me, my dear, it seems to me that your frustration with this man is as a result of his inability to give you financial support. Love is not a criteria as you see it right now. Perhaps that is not the message you wish to convey, but that is what is coming from you right now.

This man is a student, and he is struggling. Perhaps you should be helping him financially. If money is what you want out of this relationship, tell the man so and go your way. He can't have assets or live in a middle-class house or take you out, etc, because he doesn't have the money. I repeat, he is a student and many students struggle to survive.


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