My man got upset because I went out with my ex


August 17, 2017

Dear Pastor,

There is a guy that I really love, and I know he loves me too, but we are always on and off in the relationship. We are currently not together. We broke up just about a week ago. I don't know what to make of it because this isn't the first time we broke up with each other. We always seem to get back together.

Most times we break up for some stupid reason, but this time we both decided that we're tired and frustrated and that we should let go of each other. He's currently in the USA for the summer, but I know he is not seeing anyone else. He's not like that. I know we really want to be back with each other, but according to him, I'm a handful and I am stressing him out. He doesn't seem to realise that he's stressing me, too.

Pastor, he has a terrible anger issue, and that recently became a problem for both of us. The other day before we separated, he told me that he was in love with another girl. I was upset at first, but then I calmed down and told him to get rid of her, and he did without hesitation.

I told him I was going on a beach trip with my ex, who is now just a friend, and he went crazy. I forgive him for what he did, but he hasn't forgiven me.

He takes really good care of me. He knows me inside out. He understands me. He's just awesome, apart from his anger and his jealousy, which I sometime deliberately provoke. He's super jealous. I don't know what to do. I'm in a corner right now. When we broke up I cried, and I don't usually cry over guys. He's the only guy I have ever cried over. I really miss him.

What should I do, pastor? Should I try to get back with him? We love each other, and I really miss him.


Dear L.M.,

What you are trying to say is that you and this guy have not really broken up. The relationship is just going through a little turmoil, but it is still there. You consider him the greatest guy in the world. You don't feel you can do without him. He has his faults and you have yours, but you are immature. And you feel that you can do just about whatever you feel like and he should accept it and suck up to you, so to speak.

You found out that he was getting very friendly with a girl, and you demanded that he should end the relationship forthwith, and he did. At the same time, you went out on a beach trip with a man you describe as your ex. You know very well that your boyfriend wouldn't accept what you did, because 'old fire sticks easy to catch'.


The truth is, both of you are behaving as adolescents. You have not grown up. A counsellor can only encourage both of you to learn to respect each other and not to take each other for granted. You must not demand anything from him, and he shouldn't demand anything from you. If both of you love each other, give yourselves time for the relationship to grow.

You said a very foolish thing, and I wish to correct you. You said that this young man is presently in the USA and he doesn't have any girlfriend because he is not that type of man. Let me ask you this question: what will cause him not to have a woman in America? While he was in Jamaica, he was fooling around another woman, so what makes you believe that he wouldn't do that while in America? Use your head girl, don't be silly.


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