Two women want to marry me and I can't decide


August 24, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am a 30-year-old man. I love God and I am very aware of the fact that I am called to ministry. My life is one that is filled with mysteries and unanswered questions.

My house burnt down and my spiritual mentor died in front of me while preaching.

Now, there is something that I want you to help me with. I have two women who are willing to marry me. One is my spiritual daughter and we have been through much together.

On the other hand, there is another woman who loves me very much, both in action and in words. She is the one who takes care of me at present.

She has accepted me although I have nothing. She spends on me and she takes good care of me. She is honest. Both of these women are Christians and are willing to spend their money to marry me.

I am currently in college, studying Bible and theology. I love God so much. I know that I can only marry one of these women. But this is my number one problem, I need to make the right decision.

Please, could you give me some guidance as to who I should marry and how to handle the situation? I worry about my situation daily, and it is affecting my life and ministry.

I know that I am called to start ministries, but I want to marry before I start. I do not want to start it without knowing who I will settle with.

I do not want any problem in the ministry with these two women.

May God speak to me through you in this matter? I am really in need of your advice.

Thanks in advance, my beloved.


Dear A.C.

First of all, I regret hearing that your mentor passed on and that your house was destroyed. Nevertheless, it is evident that God has been providing for you.

I am glad that you have felt the call to the ministry and that you are in college. The ministry is very challenging and I would encourage you to study hard.

The challenge that you have before you, not knowing which of the two you should marry, would indeed be a matter of great concern to you.

A very simple way of handling this matter is by asking this question: "which of these women do I love more?"

I think I understand why you are having the struggle. You are living in the home of one of these women and she is treating you very well, and you would find it very difficult to leave this woman.

Would she see you as an ungrateful man? However, the question is, do you really love her? And is the love stronger than the love you have for the other woman?

You haven't given your age. I wish you had. What would happen if you would find another place to live? If you were to tell this woman that you are in love with someone else, would she try to hurt you in any way?

I am wondering whether this woman in whose home you are living is much older than you. If she is, and you do not love her as much as the other woman, you are in a pot of hot soup.

Regardless which of these woman you love, I suggest that you leave from where you are living and get your own place and prepare your own meals and have a senior person come to your house to wash, clean and iron.

Then you would be in a position to make your own decision as to whom you would marry without fear.

Before I go, let me say that it is never good for young minister to take too many gifts from females. A young minister must learn to stand on his own and live off the stipend he receives from his church, or be prepared to do part-time work to augment what he earns from the ministry.

Young man, I wish you well. Do let me hear from you again.


Other Tell Me Pastor Stories