Selling sex to her mother's man

by

August 28, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 24 years old and I am having a problem. When I was 19 years old, I got involved with one of my mother's lovers. He started to come around the house to visit my mother. He treated me well.

My mother told me that she didn't like him, but she needed more money to help send me to college. My mother had another man and one day that man was in Kingston. He lived in Port Antonio. He was going to spend a few hours with my mother after doing business in Kingston, and this man who was coming around, was expected to visit her as well on that same day. So she lied to him and told him that she wanted him to take me to a certain place and to wait on me until my business was finished.

My mother told me to stay away from the house with this man. I went with him to visit one of my friends in Portmore and we ended up at Hellshire.

This man was always admiring my legs. He told me that from the time he met my mother, he was interested in me. I told him that I was a virgin and he was my mother's lover, so nothing could go on between us. He told me that I didn't look like a virgin. I was lying, because I had a boyfriend and I had sex with him when I was 16 years old. When we went home, the other man had gone. My mother had cooked and left some for us.

My mother is a 'bad' woman because I believe that she had sex with the man from Portland and the other man slept with her that night.

This man started to sleep here until he moved in and my mother broke up with the man from Portland. I asked my mother why she allowed this man to be living here and she told me that she was doing it for me because he does not have children and the other man has five.

This man and I used to have sex anytime my mother was not around. I was even afraid that he would have got me pregnant.

The problem I am having now is that I have a boyfriend and I wrote a text message to him, but by mistake I sent it to this man who is living with my mother. He was very upset. In the text, I was telling my boyfriend that I was longing to see him and for us to have sex.

My stepfather showed it to my mother and my mother told me that she would stop supporting me because I have a man, and my man should support me.

FEEL LIKE A FOOL

When my mother started to quarrel, I asked him right before her why he didn't tell her that he had been asking me for sex. I didn't tell her that we have been having sex. I didn't want her to know that. I told her that it is because I refused to have sex with him why he showed her the text. I feel like a fool. My mother believed me. Both of them are not getting along now because of me. We are still having sex. I promised him that I will tell my mother that I have lied on him. I have not done so yet.

Pastor, whatever I am doing, I learned from my mother. Once I heard my mother telling a man that she doesn't have sex for free, and she told me not to allow men to undress me without giving me money. I have sex with my boyfriend, but he does not pay me for it.

But, this man who is my mother's boyfriend always pays me for sex. I never thought I would be having sex with any man who is having sex with my mother. I want to stop having sex with him, but he has promised to send me back to school. My boyfriend can't afford to help me much.

Pastor, I don't know what to do.

F.T.

Dear F.T.,

You consider your mother a bad woman, but you are just as bad. Your mother has not set any good example for you. You knew that your mother was having an intimate relationship with this man, and yet you have been going to bed with him. Your mother sells sex and you are doing the same.

And there are special names for women who sell sex.

You said that the man who is living with your mother started to show interest in you from the age of 19 and you told him that you were not interested, but then you changed and both of you have been carrying on ever since. You have a boyfriend, but his money is too small for you. You want bigger money. Therefore, selling yourself to this man becomes an easy option.

It is time for you to stop. Consider all that you have done as a big mistake. Stick with your poor boyfriend. He does not have much, but a good relationship is not based on how much money a man can give a woman.

If you want to go back to school, go and get a job and help to send yourself back to school. If you want your mother to hate you, you can tell her that you have been having sex with her man. My suggestion is that you keep your mouth shut.

Pastor

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