My dead husband's friends are after me


August 29, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column for many years. You have helped me. I also listen to your programme and I love it, especially since my husband died.

I look forward to the topics every night. It is three years now that I lost my husband. I am 46 years old and he was 70 when he died. We were married for six years. We didn't have children together. He had one and I got one before we got married. We had a good marriage. He was a good husband to me. And the children always spent Christmas Day with us.

His daughter would come from Christmas Eve and help me to prepare for Christmas Day. We used to go to church for Christmas service early on Christmas morning and come back home and prepare breakfast. Then later in the day we had a big spread. Because of her mother's religion, she preferred to spend Christmas with us. My son would bring his girlfriend with him for Christmas dinner.

When my husband became ill, he prepared his will and told me where it was. I am very comfortable. Sometimes I feel like I am longing for a man, but I shower and help myself, and the feelings go away. I don't want any man to disturb me. This house is for the children and I; nobody can move me from here.

My husband left me in a comfortable position and I am still working.


I am disgusted by some of the men who say they were his friends. They keep calling me and inviting me out. Some of them say they would like to spend some time with me, but I know what they are after, Pastor.

One of the men, who is the executor of my husband's will, said if I would have sex with him, I wouldn't have to give him his portion, according to law, as an executor. I can't even tell the children that he said that to me because they respect him and they would be very upset to know that he is trying to have a relationship with me.

Suddenly, these days he is telling me that he and his wife are not getting along. I told him that I am too old to be getting fooled by a man.

Before I got married, my greatest fear was that this man that I love so much may die and leave me alone, and that is what happened. He has gone. I don't think I will ever get married again. I don't want to insult this man, but he won't take no for an answer. So tell me what you believe I should do.


Dear E.N.,

I am sure you would not allow this man, who is the executor of your husband's will, to trick you. You are not living in poverty. Your husband has left you in a good position. You are not a poor and desolate woman. Your husband's will should be probated as soon as possible. And the wishes of your husband should be honored.

This disrespectful executor of the will should take the will to a lawyer and have the lawyer begin the probate. And he should be paid whatever he is entitled to as the executor and nothing more. He is a man without shame and you should have very little to do with him.

If you were to have sex with him, there is no guarantee that he would be satisfied. He may still demand from you what he is entitled to under the law. You would be a fool to agree to have sex with him. He is a dirty, low-down guy.

I am glad that your husband did not leave you in poverty. Your lawyer could handle everything, and I suggest that the children be kept informed what is happening to the estate. I wish you well, my dear. Keep strong.


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