Afraid my brother will become a rapist


September 01, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I read your column often, and I am in need of your advice. I have a younger brother, and I fear that he might become a future sex offender. I have been noticing the things that he has been doing and saying for a while now, and I don't know who to turn to about the matter.

Pastor, my mother told me that her eldest brother sexually abused her little sister when she was much younger. I am afraid my brother might have these 'genes'. This matter is a hard, one to bring up in my family, because everyone prefers to keep quiet about it. But, I want to do something before it gets out of hand, or before he grows up to be a rapist. I tried to talk to my brother about it, but he seems not to understand; and it seems as if what I say to him slip through one ear and goes through the other. I don't know what to do.


Dear M.S.,

Thank you for your letter. The first comment I would like to make is that I think that this matter should not be swept under the carpet. I suppose your mother did not report your brother, because she did not want to have him arrested. However, your auntie should receive professional help, because what happened can ruin her life. She may grow up to hate all men. She may suffer from emotional and psychological problems. So while you are concerned about your younger brother, you are to be eagerly concerned about your mother's younger sister.

You are concerned that your younger brother might become a molester. Have you seen any indications that have made you so concerned? Is he touching any of his siblings inappropriately? Is he peeping on any female member of your family? A child molester is not someone to ignore. If he is guilty of committing sexual acts on a minor, he should be reported to the police. You are quite right in speaking to your brother about his behaviour. Your mother was wrong in not dealing with the matter when her brother sexually abused her younger sister.

I understand your concern about your younger brother and whether he might have 'rape genes'. I can only say that many scientists have discredited this argument. So you need not worry about that. What you need to do is to be on the alert at all times, and play your part in seeing that no female in your household is sexually abused by any male. Let it be known that every man is responsible for what he does. If he does wrong, he must pay the penalty.


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