My wife gave me a jacket


September 09, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 45 years old and I am having a problem that I wish to share with you. When I was 23, I met a girl in church. We became friends. People used to say that we made a beautiful couple.

This girl was living a double life. The first night we kissed, her hands were down on my crutch. She wanted us to have sex.

After three months of friendship, I got her pregnant, and the pastor said that to take shame out of our family, we should get married.

My mother was not a member of the church, and she told me I should not get married so early. I questioned the girl. I asked her if she was sure that I got her pregnant and she said yes.

We got married and she went back to evening school. She got mixed up with one of the male teachers. When I heard about it and asked her, she denied it.

One day she did not know I was home and I heard a car stop at the gate. I looked out and saw her coming out of her teacher's car.

I told her I did not like it, but she continued to hide and see him. She got pregnant again, but she admitted that the child was not mine.

The child was registered in my name, but she and I know that I am not his biological father. It is not something that I am happy about.

I have left the church because of embarrassment. The child does not look like me at all, and members are talking about it. Her father gave us a piece of land and the title is in both our names.

I tried to get her to sell it and divide the money, and she said she is not selling her father's land.

Her father asked me why am I leaving his daughter, and I told him that we are not in love with each other anymore. It has been seven and a half months since I have had sex with a woman.

I can't say that about her. Every time I see her, she is either in short skirts or skimpy tights.

I know a girl who likes me and I like her too, but we have not gone to bed. She calls me 'fraidy fraidy'. Why would a woman get married and cheat like that, Pastor?


Dear W.P.,

Stop fooling yourself. Go and see a lawyer and set yourself free. Even if you were to forgive your wife, you could not be sure that she would not go with other men. She cannot be trusted.

From what you have said she had sexual intercourse with other men before she met you. You were probably excited when you met this young woman, a little bit surprised at her reaction, but excited nevertheless. She had no inhibitions at all.

You couldn't resist her, so you got her pregnant. Then you were forced to marry her. Your mother tried to discourage you from getting married so soon, but you wouldn't listen.

You didn't know this young woman well, but you decided to give this relationship your best shot.

Sorry, I have to say it, but your wife is a bad woman. I know you wouldn't hold that against me, because although you married her, she was not satisfied to have you as her only man.

She has embarrassed you and has caused you to leave your church. I would suggest that after you have divorced her, you should return to your church. The members of your church know the truth. You are not at fault.


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