Stepmother told my son that he's a 'jacket'


September 15, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am a young girl and I am suffering from stress. I know it is stress because sometimes I cook and feed my children, but I have no appetite to eat. I want my first child to be around me. I have three children, and the two that I have with me belong to my husband. My first child is with his father, and his father's wife is not treating him well. She tells him that he is a 'jacket'. But when his father is around, she is very nice to him. I told him to tell his father what she says, but he is afraid.

I asked my husband if he would allow him to come and live with us, and he said yes. But his father is not willing to give him up. I have a plan, and I don't know if it is the right thing to do. I want to let my son spend Christmas with us and not to send him back to his father's house. If I tell the father, he might not send him because he loves his son. He has other children, but they are girls.


Life is so funny. My son's father was the second man I had in my life. I lost my virginity when I was 15 years old. A guy held me down and had sex with me, and my parents and his parents discussed it, but nothing came out of it.

When I met my son's father, I told him about it. I loved him so much. He got me pregnant, but then he couldn't be satisfied with me alone, so he got involved with this bad girl. We broke up and he got married to her, and I got married to my husband.

My husband helped me to go back to school, and I became a nurse. We have room here for my son. Do you think I should tell my son's father what his wife told him and that I do not plan to send him back after Christmas? My son is very quiet, just like his father.

Please, help me, pastor. What is the best thing for me to do?


Dear E.G.,

Your son's father needs to know what is happening. His stepmother clearly does not want him at the house, so he shouldn't be there. It is not unusual for stepmothers to abuse stepchildren. Your son is very fortunate that she has not made up lies on him. Step-parents tell lies on their stepchildren all the time. And some fathers believe everything. They don't ask the children about what they heard, they just beat them. I repeat, the young man should not be there at all.

You should call his father and tell him what his stepmother has been doing and what she says to the child, when he is not at home. You should tell him that you would like your boy to come and live with you, and that your husband has given you the consent. Assure him that he needs not worry. Your husband will never abuse your son.

Expect his wife to deny everything, but tell his father that you will never be happy with your son living there, so he should release him. I wish you well. I am glad that your son has not been disrespectful to his stepmother, and I hope that you would not say anything to his stepmother. She doesn't want him there, so she should not put up a fight to keep him. She should encourage her man to let him leave.


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