Want to leave my older boyfriend for a younger guy

by

October 05, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 27 years old, and I need your help. I am a professional. I grew up with my father and two siblings, a girl and a boy.

When I started college, my father became ill and wasn't able to work very hard to put me through college.

There was a man who was always showing interest in me, but I didn't pay him any attention because he and my father were in the same age group.

Then I was in need of some money, so I asked this man if he could assist me and I would pay him back. He asked me how much I needed and I told him $15,000.

He told me he would give me the loan and add $5,000 to it, but I would not have to pay the $5,000 back. I was grateful for his assistance.

We became very good friends, and when it was time to pay him back, I did not have it, so he told me not to worry, I could pay him back whenever I could.

He started to call me every day. I told him that we could be good friends but nothing more. He said yes, he understood.

But that didn't stop him from calling me, and he always said how much he admired and loved me.

For my birthday, he bought me an expensive cellular phone. When my father saw it, he asked me why I spent so much money on a phone.

I told him it was a gift. My father said no man is going to buy a woman such an expensive gift unless he has something in mind. I laughed and that was the end of the conversation.

I found myself getting to love this man, and to cut a long story short, I slept with him. He took my virginity. We kept the relationship going.

We talked about marriage. He has children, but never got married. He said he would marry me, but he didn't want any children. I told him I did.

Once I told him I did not see my menses and I might be pregnant, and he said I should get rid of it. But I wasn't pregnant.

My real problem is that I'll soon be 28. This man would be 65. I don't want to be ungrateful to him because he has helped me through college.

But I have met a gentleman in my age group and I am in love with him. We have not gone to bed. He is a Christian, and I want to be a Christian too, and I want to have a family.

I don't want to break the heart of my friend, who has helped me all along.

Pastor, I know this man is very jealous. I don't want you to hold back. Tell me what you think and what I should do.

A.S.

Dear A.S.,

You say you do not want to be ungrateful to him, and I can understand that.

But there are times when good things must come to an end, and this relationship has fallen into that category. You have to move on.

You want children and you do not wish to (I am sure) allow too much time to go by without becoming a mother.

Therefore, you should let this man know that you love him dearly, but he should release you so that you would be able to start a new life with someone who would love to have children.

Tell him that you would never be able to repay him for his kindness, but you have to move on and he should not make it difficult for you to do so.

After you have had this sort of conversation with him, you need to talk to your father. He needs to know every step that you are taking from now on.

If this man decides to make it difficult for you, then your father needs to step in and speak to him.

If this man has bought you gifts that he wants you to return to him, do so with pleasure. He is a jealous man, so he might feel hurt to lose you. I hope to hear from you again.

Pastor

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