Husband treats me like crap because I'm unemployed


October 06, 2017

Dear Pastor,

Life has not been easy for me. I was elated when my husband decided to send me to teachers' college. I am a recent graduate.

I have not landed a job, however, as I want to hone my skill in special education and most jobs are in primary or early-childhood education.

My husband and I are not on speaking terms because we had plans of transitioning overseas via a job that I applied for, but I was told a few days ago that I was unsuccessful.

When I told him that I did not land the job, he began to abuse me verbally and called me names, including using expletives. This is done in the earshot of others.

He also said that he is making me too comfortable and he needs to stop. I am very frustrated as I do not have money to go on my own.

We currently live with my mother and he locks me out of the room that we share sometimes. Whenever he does that, I sleep in the living room. I feel helpless.

At times I feel like committing suicide. I told him how I feel and he says that he will ensure that I carry through with my plans. I am awaiting your advice. I need help!


Dear V.J.,

I hope by the grace of God you will be able to get a job. If you are qualified for the type of job you would like to do, it may take some time, but you will get a job.

I know how frustrating it can be for some folks to get jobs after they have graduated from college or university. I have always had to be encouraging such persons to trust in the Lord.

Sometimes it may take up to three years after a person has graduated from university to land a job.

I hope that the Ministry of Education is aware that you are qualified to teach as a special education teacher. You should write the minister of education on this matter. Perish the thought of committing suicide.

That is where a good husband or a good wife comes in. Rarely does a graduate walk out of university into a job, unless he or she had worked with the organisation and the organisation had a clear vacancy and he or she was promised employment immediately after graduation.

Your husband cannot be called good, loving, considerate, sympathetic and supportive. He is a crude, selfish and self-centred man.

If he is treating you with such disdain, can you imagine what you would have had to endure if both of you were not living in your parents' house?

Perhaps you have kept quiet and have not told them how cruel this man has been to you. You should tell them.

He has no right to be locking you out of the room that was not built by his labour. He has lost his mind. Call him by any other name, but don't call him husband.

You mentioned what he called you; you don't have to stoop to that level. He is just a boy who is fortunate to have married you.

You will get a job, my dear. God is alive and he will provide for you in his own time. Prayer is a powerful instrument, and you can pray.

We have published this letter hoping that if anyone has a job to offer you, they would contact us and we will inform you immediately.

It is unfortunate that your husband does not love you, but God will deal with him.


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