Lazy cousin wants pregnant girlfriend to live with us


October 11, 2017

Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you and your staff. I am living at home with my father and his sister and a young man who is a distant relative. My father took him from he was five years old. When my father brought him home, my mother fussed with him about it, and my father told my mother all she has to do is to put two more dumplings in the pot when she is cooking.

After a while, my mother got to like him, but now he is a big man and he does not want to help my father with anything. He just wants to get up, eat and 'run road'. He comes home, eats and go again. Sometimes my father has to pay men to work in his field, and this guy wouldn't even give him a hand.

My father asked him to leave, but he says he is not going anywhere. The latest thing we heard is that he got a girl pregnant. He asked my father if he could take the girl to the house for her to spend some time with us. My father told him no. My mother is worse, she said no way. This girl is only 16 years old. My father told him that since he is a big man, he needs to go out and work and find a place to put his woman.

When he gets his dinner now, he puts it in a container and takes it to her. We don't know where she is staying at the moment. Now, my mother says that as Christians, she feels that we should help the girl because we have more than enough to eat and drink.

My father is a deacon in his church and he does not want any of us girls to live with any man until we are married. So, the same should go for this cousin. We can't have him living in the house with the girl and he is not married. We know that he has nothing, and he is a lazy boy.

My mother told my father that we should let the girl come and stay, but soon after she has the baby, we should let her go. How would we get her out if we allow her to move in?


Dear T.A.,

I suggest that this girl should remain with her parents if that is where she lives. Your father should not get involved at all, nor should your mother. It is not their responsibility to take care of this girl.

This young man has not been a good help to your father. He is very ungrateful to both your parents. He should leave your house now. He has had life much too easy.

I repeat, your parents should not take his girlfriend in. I commend your mother for giving him food. However, he should be providing meals for his girlfriend and himself. Tell your parents that I say that they should not allow their hearts to rule their heads.


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