Dad needs to mind his own business


October 13, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 years old and I have been reading your column since I was able to read. I have a 24-year-old boyfriend. One day, I heard my father talking to my mother and telling her that he suspects that I am sexually active. My mother asked him why did he said that I am sexually active. They did not know that I was hearing them.

My father said that whenever my boyfriend is talking to me, he always has his hand in his pocket, so that means he is trying to hold down his penis. My mother asked me if I ever had sex, and I told her no. She asked me why my boyfriend always has his hand in his pocket, and I told her that I never pay any attention to that. My mother told me that my father does not trust my boyfriend.

One day my boyfriend sent me a text message. I read it, but I did not delete it. My mother searched my phone and saw it, and asked me why my boyfriend wants to see me and is describing me as so sweet. I am not leaving my boyfriend. I told my mother that we never had sex, but we have had sex. I am not a virgin, and my boyfriend is very careful. He always uses a condom. He told me he would like to try sex without the condom, but I told him no.

Do you think that a father should watch his daughter so much, and also watch her boyfriend to the extent that he would observed that he always has his hands in his pants pocket?

I am not going to stop talking to my boyfriend. My father knows what he did to my mother before they got married, that is why he is watching me so much. They got two children before they got married. I don't plan to have any kids before I am married. I want my father to stop watching me and mind his own business.


Dear S.D.,

It is the responsibility of your father and mother to give you guidance. You are out of order to say that your father should stop watching you and mind his own business. You are rude and out of order. You are 18 years old, but your father still cares. He is not against you having a boyfriend, but by the behaviour of your boyfriend, he suspects that you are having sex with him.

I don't believe that you ought to be so angry with your dad because he mentioned to your mother what he had observed. And what happened between your parents when they were younger should not cause them to be silent, because their silence may cause you to become pregnant.

Don't turn against your parents because you love your boyfriend. They have a right to speak. Be careful how you conduct yourself and what you allow your boyfriend to do with you.


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