Dad doesn't like my cop boyfriend

by

October 30, 2017

Pastor,

I am 19 years old. I have two brothers and two sisters. I am the fourth child for my parents. My parents are well off, so they are in a position to help all of us. I don't have to ask a man for help.

I am in university, but my first brother and sister have graduated and are working. My parents are very strict. I will be graduating from university in 2019.

My parents are very active in church. I know for sure that my younger sister has had sex, but I have never had sex.

She told me what she did one day when she stayed for a special session at school. She had sex in the classroom, and she was not the only girl who had sex that evening.

I promised that I would keep her little secret and not say anything. My parents think that she is a pure girl. They give testimony at church about how good their children are.

I sat there one night when people were giving testimony and I smiled.

My mother always tells us that she never went with a man until she was 21 years old and that man is our father. And the first time she went with him, she got pregnant and had twins.

I like boys, but I am trying to be like my mother. When my father fusses over us as girls, my mother always tell him that he can't watch us, he can only give guidance and leave us to make our own decisions. I love my father, but he would like to choose for us.

I have a boyfriend, but he is a policeman and my father does not like policemen. He asked me one day how he is going to relate to a policeman as his son-in-law.

I told him that he wouldn't have to be ashamed of my boyfriend because he has integrity and he is smart, and he plans to go to university.

My boyfriend has never asked me for sex because he knows that I would not give it to him. He says that he is a Christian, and I am a Christian.

But some of my friends say that they believe that he has other girlfriends. He is 24 years old. Do you believe that it is because he has another girlfriend why he is not asking me for sex?

I hope that he doesn't have another girlfriend, otherwise that would be the end of our relationship.

He wanted to buy a car, but I discouraged him. I told him to take the money and save it to further his education, and he agreed.

I have my mind set on law and I would like him to be a lawyer, too. When I asked my father what he has against policemen, he wouldn't give me an answer.

Why do you think he doesn't like them?

M.O.

Dear M.O.,

I do not know why your father does not like police officers. However, you know that you love your boyfriend and even if he wasn't a policeman, you would love him just the same.

There are policemen who have got themselves into trouble, but that does not make all of them bad. Many are persons of integrity and you believe that your boyfriend has integrity.

Therefore, I would urge you to encourage your boyfriend to do well in his work and to go on to university. That would cause your father to have respect for him and for his profession on a whole.

Don't listen to what your friends tell you. You do not know whether he has another girlfriend. If he does, time will tell. You would find out without even questioning him.

Take it from me, this is a small world and if he has been intimate with another girl, she will surface, so to speak, and you will know what to do.

I wish you well.

Pastor

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