Cheating boyfriend got another woman pregnant


November 02, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 and I have been with my partner from I was 18. I got pregnant soon after. However, things changed at that point.

During my pregnancy, my partner started to cheat with multiple individuals. I felt lonely. He was helping me, but he was always complaining that he was tired. Even if I asked him to have sex with me, he said he was tired.

I was not only lonely but depressed, so I went in search of love. A few months later, I found out every detail of my partner's actions. I was hurt and sad, but I had to keep strong for my baby.

At that time, he said he wanted to change and he didn't want any of the girls; it was just about sex. I told him that because he wanted just sex, I was neglected and left to do something that wasn't much better than what he did.

As time passed, we agreed that none of this would happen again, but it did happen - and this time for the worse. He got a young woman pregnant.

This woman is a friend of his best friend ,whom I think introduced him to her. At this point, I don't know what to do because I live with him and he sends me to school.

He said that he loves me and he did not intend to make anything bad happen. He denied the claim that the child the girl is carrying is his because the young woman is not as innocent as she claims.

He says that he knows the type of person she is, so he is going to do a DNA test whenever the baby is born.

The thing is, I do not know how to handle the matter. If this child turns out to be his, my daughter will have a brother.

I called the young woman when I just found out and she said that he impregnated her; and she is sure that he is the one who got her pregnant.

I go about every day thinking what is going to happen, because a man cannot love two people at the same time. He says that he doesn't love her.

I sense that most times when he is not around me, he might be cheating. I want to completely forgive him because we both have made mistakes but, somehow, I can't forgive him.

He assists this pregnant girl financially. What should I do? I really love him, but my respect and trust for him are low.


Dear K.T.

Your boyfriend cheated on you and you returned the favour by cheating on him. In Jamaica, we say that was 'bun for bun'.

As I see it, this relationship is not going to work because, in this man's mind, you are just as bad. He is lying. He knows that he has got involved with the girl who is presently pregnant and that is why he is supporting her.

I don't know what type of work he does. But I can tell you this, if a man loves a woman, he can be as busy as a bee, he will find time to see her and make her happy.

Make up your mind, young woman; accept the fact that this man is a liar. It is either that you are going to stay with him or leave him. You are the only one who would have to make that decision.

Don't fool yourself, a man can love more than one woman at the same time. But he would have to love one more than the other.

And a woman can love more than one man at the same time, but she would have to love one more than the other.


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