My husband is not giving me enough sex


November 03, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you with tears in my eyes. I have been married for three years and I am having problem getting my husband to have sex with me.

Before we were married, I didn't have that problem at all. He would come to my house two or three times per week and we had sex; and regardless of how tired I was, I would give it to him and then I would beg him not to leave right away.

He is a man who used to say that he doesn't want to stay out all night because he was living with his grandma and she wasn't well. His grandmother passed on a few months before we were married, so he doesn't have to leave anymore, because we are living together.

The house is my house, but he is helping me to pay the mortgage. I love him, but he is not giving me enough sex.

I talked to my minister about it and he asked me if I suspect that he has another girlfriend. I don't know what to think.


Dear S.B.,

I am sorry that your minister put that thought in your mind. Your husband might be having other problems that are affecting the relationship.

Because he is not having sex with you as often as you like doesn't necessarily mean that he is having extramarital affairs. He might be under stress.

You should tell him that his behaviour is affecting you and he should feel free to talk to you about his problem. Assure him of your love every day.

Whenever he comes home, spend time with him, give him a massage, don't talk about the pressure that you might have had at work, and don't pressure him for sex.

Perhaps if you change your attitude, you may find that he would turn you over even after you have fallen asleep.

Don't give him the impression that sex is all you want from the relationship.


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