Fired for sleeping with the man I was caring for


November 11, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 37 years old, and I have three children. I am from rural Jamaica. I was out of a job for a long time and my children's fathers were not supporting them well. Every time I tell them that I am broke and I need money, they tell me that they need sex. One of them is always asking me for salt fish (sex) whether it was day or night. Sometimes I have to give them sex just to get the little money from them.

One of them is living with a woman who is much older than he is, but she does not have any children for him. Sometimes he takes out the children and even takes them to his house. I asked him what his girlfriend says about taking the children to her house, and he said that she does not say anything. All the children call her auntie, and when they come home, they come with different gifts and tell me that auntie gave them these things. The first time he took them there, they brought back mangoes and breadfruit, and I threw them away. They told this man about it, and he cursed me. I said to myself, 'I shouldn't throw them away because she won't give them anything to hurt them'.

A friend of mine told me that she knew a family who wanted somebody to take care of their 79-year-old father, but I couldn't take the children there. My mother agreed that the children could stay with her, and I would come home every other weekend. This man's children didn't want him to live in this big house alone in St Andrew.

I met with his daughter and she liked me, and I agreed to take the job. She offered to give me $12,000.

This man can help himself. I just have to keep the place clean and make sure that he takes his medication and his daily bath. I have to keep his room clean. He is always on the phone talking to his friends, and they come over to see him and they play dominoes. Sometimes, on weekends, his daughter stays with him and she cooks his Sunday dinner.

His children told me that I should not let him stay up later than 11 p.m. So when his friends are there, I have to try and stay awake and remind his friends that they should leave by 11 p.m.

When I started to work here, he would always question me about the children, and then he questioned me about myself. Then he told me how lonely he gets sometimes. He has a television in his room, so when he goes in, I always tell him to turn off the television and try to sleep. He is 79 years old.

I am not going to lie to you, pastor. he is a very decent man, and I found myself admiring him. One night, he asked me if I could spend the night with him. I was wondering how long he would take to ask me that question. I went in to him in my nightgown, and I was there not sleeping until he dropped asleep. When he started to sleep, I went to my bed. In the morning, he told me that he knew when I was left.

Two nights later, I went to his room to make it up with him. He didn't invite me. I invited myself. And this time, he did not drop asleep. He was all over me. He is still a strong man. For his age, he is very large. I did not know he could manage.


His daughter came to the house early one morning. She suspected that I was sleeping in his room, because when I heard her drive up, I tried to rush to my room, but she saw me in just panties and a short nightie. She asked me if I was sleeping with her father, and I told her that he had a headache and had called me. I just didn't know what to say. She said I should dress properly whenever I am doing anything for her father. At the end of the week, I received a letter from her giving me two weeks' notice.

This man does not want me to go. What do you suggest I do? A couple of friends told me that I should go to the Ministry of Labour. To me, it doesn't make sense. The man told me that he can't do anything because it is his children who are paying me.

One of his friends is inviting me to come and work for him. I don't trust him because he is always looking at me when he comes to the house. Please, I am asking for your advice.


Dear E.S.,

I suggest that you go your way. If you want, you may ask the officials of the Ministry of Labour what you are required to be given by your employer. But do not try to fight to keep this job. You don't have anyone to blame. You and this man decided to fool around, and you did not think that his daughter could drop in at any time to see her father and that you should always be properly dressed. Try and get yourself another job, but do not work with any of his friends.

This man's daughter will never trust you with her father again. You made a mistake. Don't fret about it. I repeat, you will get another job. In the meantime, you should take your children's father to court for maintenance.


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