Christian wife cheated because my penis is small


November 13, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 26 years old, and I am having a problem. I am married, and what I am faced with now, I never faced it before when I was a 'wild man' in the world. I used to have lots of women. By the time I was 25 years old, I had two children and had two different girlfriends. None of these girls complained to me that I couldn't sex them well. Then I became a Christian. I can't say that I was a true saint from I became a Christian, but I stopped the wildness.

I met a girl in the church. She could sing, and I could sing. We became part of a singing group, and the pastor encouraged us along. I didn't know much about her background. I fell in love with her, and it was after I fell in love with her, that she told me that she has two children and they are with their grandparents on their father's side. The father of the children used to abuse her, so she gave them to him and came to Kingston. Nobody in the church knew that she has children.

I didn't know what to do, because I loved her so much. But I always wanted to marry someone who never had children. That was my dream. We prayed about it, and I decided that I will marry her. When I told her that I will continue the relationship, she hugged me and kissed me for so long that we almost 'did it'.

We went to the pastor and he said that we would have to get married within six months because that is the rule of the church. We got married 10 months after we were engaged.

Pastor, she caused me not to love women. She admitted to me that while she was in the singing group, and was admiring me, she was having sex with a guy who was assisting her to pay her rent. I also found out that she had sex with the same guy since we have been married. She said I know the guy, so she cannot tell me who he is. She said he gives her money sometimes, but the main reason why she cheated is because I cannot satisfy her because my penis is too small. No woman has ever told me that I am too small.


This guy's penis is big enough for her, and he has sex with her longer than I do. I couldn't keep this problem to myself, so I went to see the leader of the church because the church is without a pastor at the moment. She told the leader that she knows I am hurting, but she had to tell me the truth, and she is not leaving the guy because he makes her happy.

I have given my wife everything she asked me for. We don't have children, but that was in the plan. She said she will move out if that is what I want her to do. I want to know the man that has destroyed my marriage.

We don't sing together at church anymore, and whenever she comes to church, we don't sit together. The leader told me not to ask her to leave the house. When she is ready, she will leave on her own, but I can't marry again unless she dies. We don't sleep together anymore.


Dear P.G.,

You have been deceived. You have married a very bad woman. You should not be hard on yourself. You are not the only man who has been deceived by a woman, so take heart.

This woman has told you that her children's father used to physically abuse her, so she ran from him. But now that you have gotten to know her, don't you feel that her conduct might have caused such an abuse?

I do not believe that the size of your penis has anything to do with her having sex with another man, although both of you are married. The real truth is, she loves that other guy more than you. And she has come to the place where she doesn't care whether or not you are aware that she is having an affair. She cannot keep her legs shut.

Don't try to find out who is her lover. If you were to know, it may send you to your grave. You know enough already. On this one, remain in the dark. It may help you to keep your sanity.

This is a bad woman, but after this relationship has ended in a divorce, you may find another woman and fall in love. Your church does not believe in divorce and remarriage, but a second marriage can be better than the first.

Put everything in God's hands.


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