My cheating ex wants me back


November 20, 2017

Dear Pastor,

My boyfriend and I have been on and off in our relationship for six years because he constantly flirts with other women on social media, at work and with women who I know.

Over the years, I've got angry and insecure because I feel like I am not good enough. We argue and I beat him all the time. He has never hit me.

I have been through his phone and saw naked pictures of females and he claimed that those pictures are from porn sites. He had messages wanting to meet women and most of them weren't even interested.

The last straw was when I pretended to be another woman on social media and of course he dropped into my inbox wanting to meet with me as soon as possible. He was talking about sex and the sending of nude pictures.

We set a date to meet at a certain place, but he didn't know that it was going to be me. When he saw me where he told the woman to meet him, he was shocked and had the audacity to say I was wicked for tricking him.

I told him that I am done and I have decided not to go back with him. We were over for just about six months when he came back begging me to renew the relationship and promising to marry me and to have a baby with me.

Basically, all the things he was not ready for when we were together, he wants to do now. The thing is, he found out that I was going around with another dude.

He begged me to cut the dude off and to be serious with him again. That was not the case and I still haven't taken him back but he comes around and acts like a slave to me and it seems as if the flirting has stopped and he has cut off all social media sites.

I love him dearly but trust is a big issue and I feel like the things he did in the past will eventually show up if I take him back. I feel like he is still sneaking around with women.

I understand that no relationship is perfect, but I don't want to be insecure and angry at this point of my life. What should I do?


Dear R.L.,

I cannot encourage you to renew the relationship with this man. He is a liar and I doubt that he has changed.

What you saw in his phone should still serve as a warning to you that this man is not genuine. He was not satisfied in having you as his only woman, so he established relationships with other women and they sent him nude pictures of themselves.

You felt that he was lying to you, so you did 'your thing' and caught him. You found out for sure, the type of man he is.

He was searching for more and more women on the Internet. The only reason why he is begging to return to you is he cannot bear to know that you have established a relationship with another man.

And he cannot bear to know that he has lost you. You would be very foolish to believe the nonsense that he is telling you now and the promises that he is making.

You ought not to trust him. Neither should you give him the impression that you are considering what he has proposed to you.


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