Almost beaten for kissing a woman's boyfriend


November 23, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 years old and I have been dating a 25-year-old guy. My mother says that he is too old for me, but I have never loved guys my age. My first boyfriend and I lasted only one year, and he was 35 years old and living with his babymother. She caught us kissing and hit him from the back, and he almost died. I was leaning on his car, and he was kissing me. I ran and she tried to run after me, but stopped to take care of him.

I asked my mother how come this guy is too old for me and she is always asking me whether he gives me any money. Sometimes he buys stuff and sends for my mother. I am still going to school. My father doesn't care about me. He is living with a woman and has three children with her. I cannot remember my father buying a panty for me. I have called my father and mentioned my needs to him several times, and he always tells me that things are hard with him. I have a brother and sister living at home, so it's hard on my mother.

His sister, who is my aunt, travels, and whenever she goes away, she buys little things for me. She is a poor woman and she has a daughter my age. We talk like sisters. I found out from her that her boyfriend is taking care of her, too.

Every time my boyfriend and I have sex, when he pulls out, he examines the condom to see if it was broken. I don't like that, because I know he is trying to say if I get pregnant it is not for him, because everything is in the bag.

Although my mother says he is too old for me, she allows the both of us to sleep together. The first time it happened I was nervous, but not anymore. I would like to become an air hostess.

What do you think of this relationship?


Dear P.H.,

Why does your mother allow your boyfriend to sleep with you in her house? Perhaps she feels that you are an adult and that this man is taking care of you, so he should be given certain privileges. And she knows that both of you are having sex. She is not a fool. However, you and this man are not showing good examples to your younger siblings. You have a younger sister and a brother.

If you have two siblings living at home, how could this man sleep over with you in the same house? That must be a large house with good bathroom facilities, etc. Your neighbours must see what's going on, and they must be talking about it. They must be saying, "Imagine, a schoolgirl sleeping with her man at her mother's house. That cannot be good." I hope this man won't get you pregnant. I am not even sure if he fully trusts you. He is always examining the condom after using it. What message is he sending to you? Be very careful of what you do.

You want to be an air hostess, so press forward and accomplish your goal. I wish you well.


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