Caught between two lovers


November 29, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 30 and I am having a problem. I used to attend a certain high school and some of my friends used to tease me and tell me that one of the teachers liked me.

We used to joke about it. He was very kind to me, but I did not believe that he really liked me in a special way.

He never said anything sexy or suggestive to me, but he was always concerned about my grades. I took that to mean that as my teacher, he wanted to know that I was doing well.

I graduated from high school and went on to teachers' college. We kept in touch with each other.

His wife became ill and died and he needed help. While his wife was alive, I used to assist her and she got to like me.

One day while I was in her room and he was there, she told me that she didn't think that she had long to live. she told him that when she dies, he should marry me.

The man said that is what he would love. I was shocked. From that day, he started to refer to me as his wife.


When his wife passed on, it took him only six months to propose to me. I told him that he was too old for me, and also that people were going to say that the both of us had had something going from long ago.

He said he did not care what people say. He is 65. He has a daughter who is my age and a son who is not living in Jamaica.

Pastor, I have a boyfriend and I wanted to be true to him. He lives in the US and although I am working, he sends me rent money every month.

I don't know what to do because this man has his own home and a nice car. He is retired, but he has a farm and people work with him.

I told my boyfriend that someone is interested in me, but I did not tell him who.

My father is against the relationship, but my mother isn't. I get along well with his daughter. These days I have been sleeping over at his house, but I haven't told my boyfriend that.

I am surprised that this man is able to function in bed so well.

Should I give up my boyfriend and marry this man? I asked my father the question and he said I shouldn't have been involved with him in the first place.

My mother said, "It is better to be an old man's darling than to be a young man's slave."

Help me, Dear Pastor.


Dear A.G.,

I would tell you that this is a decision you must make on your own. It seems to me that this much older man has won your heart and you love him more than your boyfriend.

It's either you are naive or you are pretending to be. Your female friends many years ago were able to tell you that this older man had his eyes on you, but you could not see that.

He has been in love with you for a long time, but he respected his wife.

Although he has adult children, if they respect you, you don't need to be afraid of this relationship. You can't complain to anybody about this man. He

hasn't done you any wrong.

make a decision

He just tells you how he feels and what he wants to do. You are very young, so you have to bear that in mind.

There's going to come a time when you have to make up your mind to take care of this man because he is much older than you.

If you decide to marry this man, tell your boyfriend. Would you not want to have children? Perhaps this older man may get you pregnant, but he may not live long enough to see these children grow up.

Maybe I should not make such a comment, but it is something for you to think about before you make your decision.

I would suggest that you do not ignore the advice of your father, but at the same time, you have to make your own decision by asking yourself which one of these men you love more, and which one would make you very happy.


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