My marriage is a sham


December 02, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I have been residing in Canada for the past eight years. I came here on a visitor visa which could only last for six months.

I stayed on for a while longer, and then my luck changed. I met and fell in love with a man, and he has been so good to me.

He told me that he was living with his sister. For the longest while, I believed that. I went to his house when his 'sister' went to Jamaica.

One day I paged him and after a while a woman called back my number. I explained to her what happened and she was really nice about it.

I told her not to worry because he lied to me. I told her that I had no intention of ever seeing him again. I asked him why he lied to me and even more, why he took me to their house while she was away. I broke off the relationship with him. Pastor, we got in touch again and we started a relationship again. He said he wanted to help me to get my landing papers and to help my family to be Canadian residents.

I asked him about the other woman and he told me he is just there because of the obligation with the kids and because she is ill.

Anyway, we got married and he helped me to get a job with a company where he knows the plant manager. He signed the lease for me to rent a place.

At that time the papers hadn't come through as yet, so I couldn't do it on my own.

Thanks be to God, I've got the papers and he sponsored my mother, two brothers, and two sisters. My mom is now living here with me in the apartment that he rented for us.

He is still living with the kids and his woman. I don't try to make that a problem. He lied at first, but after all, the truth did come out.

Now here is the problem.

Recently I've turned my life around. I've accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my Saviour and Guide. I am now a Christian serving the Lord.

What am I going to do about this situation? I love this man and I know he loves me too, but I love the Lord even more. I don't think this kind of lifestyle is pleasing to the Lord.

I don't want to talk with my pastor about it. I feel so sick inside. What should I do? I don't want this man to leave his family to be with me.


Dear M.W.,

Don't be afraid. Tell this man that you are thankful for his assistance. You appreciate everything he has done for you, but you are now trying your very best to serve the Lord, so you are pleading to him to release you and set you free.

Please, don't make this a big argument. Don't remind him that he has another house and that he is living with his children's mother.

If you do, he may become upset and remind you that after you ended the relationship with him the first time, and you got back together, you knew the whole story.

If you argue with him, he might say that you used him and you are not different from other women. So, go easy.

Tell him that both of you can remain good friends, but you want to be free to serve the Lord. So, he should release you.

You don't have to tell your pastor anything about this. Just do what is right. This man may say that he is leaving the woman that he is living with to come to you.

If he insists that is what he wants to do, both of you should make an appointment to see a counsellor and let the counsellor give you guidance in his presence.


Other Tell Me Pastor Stories