Mom is wrecking my life


December 05, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am a 16-year-old who is having problems with my parents. I was in Jamaica living with my mom, twin sisters and uncle.

My mother and my father separated and she met another Jamaican man who had migrated to the United Kingdom. Their relationship continued to succeed until my stepfather decided to take my mom there. He took me too, since I'm the youngest of all my siblings.

The first week I came to the UK was absolutely fine until my mother found out that my stepfather was supporting his 20-year-old child.

She said that the child didn't care for his dad until he heard that he was married. He pretended that he loved his father again and got money from him to support his mom.

I'm attending school here in the UK and I am doing quite well. The teachers love me a lot. My stepfather said to me he would have walked out of the relationship with my mother already, but he brought me to the UK and he wants me to get an education so I couldn't say he brought me to the country and spoiled my future.

My mother is so easily jealous that she quarrels every single night with my stepfather about women or his son. It is affecting me.

I can't do my homework in peace and if I tell her that she is distracting me, she starts on me by saying I'm picking up for my stepfather or she is wondering whether I'm in an intimate relationship with him.

Every day I go to school I cry, especially when I am on my way home, knowing the kind of home I'm coming back into.

I worry a lot but I don't want to go back to Jamaica until I achieve my goal because Jamaica is hard and we were suffering there.

Sometimes I'm even thinking of walking out on the road and letting a vehicle hit me. I don't know what else to do. Please, give me some advice.


Dear K.H.,

I thank you for writing from the UK. It seems to me that you have a very cantankerous mother who is allowing her jealousy to get the better of her.

Your stepfather loves her and he is doing his best to take care of her and the home. You have discovered that your mother is very ignorant.

She is not able to reason well and she has gone too far, much too far, to even suggest that you might be having an intimate relationship with your stepfather because you would not support her in some of the things that she says.

I know it is difficult for you, but I am going to beg you not to do anything foolish. As for the temptation to hurt yourself, put that thought behind you.

I know that thought has come to your mind because you feel that you have been ignored and you need attention.

You have a good relationship with your teachers. Take them into your confidence and share your problems with them and they will give you guidance.

My prayers are with you. Do write to me again.


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