Boyfriend wants me accept his outside child


December 18, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am a 26-year-old woman who has been in a relationship with a 30-year-old man for the past 10 years. We live together.

After one and a half years of living together, there were rumours of him having other women. I have seen him with more than three different women on different occasions.

On more than one occasion, I saw women in the house that we share. He claims that he is not intimately involved with them.

Just recently, I heard that he has a girl who has a child for him. When I asked him about it, he denied it at first, and then he admitted that the child is his.

When I told him that I no longer want to continue the relationship because of what he has done, and who he has done it with, he denied that he is the father of the child.

Pastor, when he admitted to being the father of the child, he told me that he would like me to take the child when the child gets a bit older, because he is no longer involved with the child's mother, but I refused.

I do not know if I am able to have one for myself. I have only been with one other person and we used the condom, so I do not know if the problem lies with me or him.

This whole situation has made me very unhappy. He has been asking me to marry him for years now and I don't know whether I should. I do not believe in running around, but I need to be happy. What should I do?


Dear L.H.,

Why are these women coming to your house? You should tell your man that as long as you are living there, no woman should come there without your knowledge.

You know this man is not truthful. He is the father of the child. He is suggesting that you agree to take the child whenever he/she reaches a certain age. He is behaving as if you are a fool.

If you are interested in allowing this man to get you pregnant, and both of you have been having unprotected sex for a considerable number of months and you have not conceived, you probably should check with your doctor and let him know what is happening.

However, I must emphasise that you have to be sure that you want this man to be your husband. Right now, he is behaving as a playboy, and surely, if he is a playboy, he would not be a good father.

If you know that you are going to end the relationship with this man and that you are not ready to have a child, you probably should not check yourself out with a doctor.

It would be better for you to save your money until you have met a man who truly loves you and would love to have a future with you.

While you are living in this man's house, he is going to insist that both of you have sex. Make sure you have a pack of condoms ready at all times.


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