Pastor told boyfriend to dump me


January 02, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I was diagnosed with an illness last year and was hospitalised. My boyfriend was a tower of strength to me, and he supported me financially and psychologically.

Every month, he gave me money that I used to buy food and medication. Things started to get strange and I went days without hearing from him. This wasn't normal, because we used to speak daily.

To cut a long story short, he told me that God told the pastor of the church he attends to tell him that I am not the right person for him.

To make things worse, he said that two other persons called him by phone to tell him that I am not the right person for him.

He has never asked me about sex. We never had sex. I never asked him for money and I never cheated on him.

I used to work, but because of my illness, I cannot work anymore. I also have mobility problems.

Please, I am asking you for your advice and your prayer.

- M.M.

Dear M.M.,

I hope that this man is speaking the truth and not lying on his pastor and other persons. I know that many pastors have told members of their congregations that they ought not to marry certain persons.

There is a particular pastor who was always telling members who they should marry, but just about everybody who had the pastor choose for them ended up in divorce.

I am afraid that I will have to say that these pastors who poke their noses into the love lives of their members are either lying on God or overstepping their pastoral role.

Having said that, let me quickly add that there are times a pastor may speak by pointing out to couples why it might not be prudent to marry the ones with whom they are in love.

But, I am wary of these pastors who are always saying that God told them to tell their members what they ought or ought not to do.

This young man should have told you the reasons the pastor gave him why he should not marry you. The other so-called members should have given him their reasons also.

If God is able to speak to them, God can speak to him too. He shouldn't just listen to what they have to say to him. He should ask God to lead him and help him to make his own decisions.

I am sorry to know that you are in great need. I hope that you will appeal to this young man to help you to get some support from his church and pass it on to you on humanitarian grounds.

They should also assist you with getting a job. I am sorry you did not mention what type of work you can do, but if anybody is willing to help you, I will contact you without delay.


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