Need to get away from my family


January 03, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am 17 years old and I am living with my big sister, my brother, his girlfriend, and their children. My big sister is abroad living with my father and his wife.

My other sister lives beside me with her mother and younger siblings. I was raped at the age of 16 by my big sister's babyfather, but nothing came out of it because he used money to cover it.

My family from my father's side accepted it, and told my father lies because they knew he would believe them over me.

My mother died four years ago. I really want to go and live somewhere else because I am not welcome here anymore. My father fails to understand that I am not comfortable and, in fact, my sister's mother wants me to come out of her son's house because I am taking up space.

I really want to go far from them, but my father is turning a blind eye to my situation.

I am talking to a guy and if my father finds out, he is going to stop supporting me completely. But this guy is the only one who understands me.

He is the only one who shows me love; nobody else does. I don't know what to do, and the thought of suicide is lingering in my head. I want that to be my last option. I am planning to run away.


Dear S.M.,

I believe every word you say. If your stepmother and members of the extended family were treating you well, you wouldn't be contemplating suicide.

I am sorry that your mother passed on when you were at a very tender age, and I am also sorry that you and your father do not have a close relationship.

He is not paying enough attention to you. Perhaps he does not realise how deeply hurt you feel.

It is not difficult for me to understand that your stepmother wants you out of the house. To her, you are a liability. Whatever contribution you are making, it is not appreciated.

You are taking up space in her son's house. Your father has to be willing to listen to you, but it is going to be tough to get him to do so.

He is in love with your stepmother, and he is willing to believe whatever she says.

Someone has to be willing to have you live with them. I think you ought to write your father and tell him how you are feeling. Beg him to ask relatives who will be willing to take you to live with them.

Give good reason why you want to leave. You may even mention that you have been having suicidal thoughts.

Ask the minister of the church you attend to find a place for you to live after you write your father.


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