Don't know my real dad


January 08, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am 16 and from I was born, my mother told me that a certain man is my father. This man did not accept me as his child. His relatives say that I am a 'jacket'.

I still call him dad, and he helps my mother to buy me books and uniform. But, he doesn't support me every week. I asked my mother who is my real father, but every time I ask her, she threatens to knock me down.

My uncle told me that I should stop asking her because she probably does not know, as my mother was always playing around with different men.

I love my mother, but I would also like to know my father. My mother is very ignorant. It is hard to talk to her.


Dear W.N.,

You know that the man your mother says is your father has never accepted paternity, but from time to time, he has bought you books and school uniforms.

Show this man respect, and as you become older, ask him whether he suspects who is your biological father and whether he would be willing to approach that person on your behalf. Perhaps that man would very much like to be recognised as your father, but because your mother did not recognise him as your father, he has kept quiet.

In the meantime, just try your best in school and don't embarrass your mother in any way.

Life will change for you, and I hope that the day will come when you would get to know your biological father.

But, when you do, don't ever forget this man who has helped you with books and uniform.


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