My new woman is moving too fast


January 13, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am a 41-year-old man, and this Christmas was the best I had for a long time. I was living with my girlfriend but all I had with her was trouble, plenty of trouble.

She didn't cooperate with me. She had two children but they are not mine. The boy had no manners at all and I worked hard and sent him to school.

Her daughter was different. She loved me and cooperated. She would say, "daddy, don't fret yourself." The boy didn't want to go to school, but the girl always did.

When I found out that he was going with the wrong crowd and started to smoke ganja, I spoke to him and he said nobody could stop him from smoking ganja.

When he was leaving the house, his mother told me that he was leaving because I didn't like him and she did not want to see him murder me.

Sometimes he comes around and just walks pass me, so I told his mother to tell him not to come back to my house if he doesn't have manners to say "hello."

The girl got a job and she rented a place, but before she even did that, she told me that she was going to move, and I gave her $10,000 to help her to buy a bed.

My ex-girlfriend left and went to live with her. I am living alone, but I had a good Christmas. A friend called me because someone told her that my woman had moved out, and she offered to come and spend Christmas with me.

She came by the Saturday before Christmas and cleaned up and went back for her clothes, and we went out to do Christmas shopping. She did all the cooking. We had a wonderful Christmas, pastor.

The daughter of my ex brought me dinner. She didn't expect to see anyone in the house. I took the dinner and introduced her to the woman who was with me. She was so shocked to see her.

Her mother called me and cursed me off. I thanked her daughter for the food. She thought she was surprising me when she came, but I wasn't hungry.

I know that this woman wants me but I am not ready for a relationship so soon. She is 50. She stayed until Boxing Day. It was the best Christmas I have had in years.

She made my favourite drink with a tip of wine. I had to show her my motion. I told her that she is moving too fast and she told me that I am moving too slow.

She has one son, and that's what is bothering me because I am not ready yet for a serious relationship where children are involved.

Pastor, what should I do?


Dear L.B.

First of all, I am going to suggest that you take time to know this new woman. She sees an opportunity to grab you, so to speak.

Your former woman has moved on and this new woman does not want to miss the opportunity to be involved with you. You did not say how long you lived with the other woman, but it might have been a few years because you said you schooled her two children.

But evidently, her son did not have any manners. He didn't like you and I am glad that he eventually went his way. He is rude and out of order.

Her daughter is thankful for what you did for her and her mother. I would like to suggest that you continue to treat this young woman as your daughter.

Call her sometimes and try to find out how she is doing. It would be an encouragement to her.

Now, back to this woman who is anxious to have you as her man. Be careful what you do. Don't allow her to spend your money freely. You are going to need your money.

What I mean is that you can't judge her motives, but you have a right to question what they are. Tell her as often as you can that you can't rush into marriage because you don't know her well. And even when you believe that it is time for you to get married, make an appointment to see a family counsellor and also a lawyer and do a prenuptial agreement.


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