Trying to get away from my abusive babyfather
I am 19 years old, and I just had my second child in December of last year for someone who I thought would love me entirely and never give up on me. I read your column every day because reading your comments about what others are going through makes me wiser.
I have been feeling unhappy lately because the man I am living with treats me badly sometimes. A few hours before I started writing this letter, we had a fight, and when he started to hit me, I cried out and he told me to shut up.
My baby isn't old enough for me to leave him with anyone, but I want to be enrolled in HEART Trust/NTA to receive in training housekeeping until I am able to go to college or get a job to maintain myself and get away from him. He hurts me physically and verbally, even if I am not the cause of what is going on.
What should I do, Pastor?
You are living with this man and both of you are having unprotected sex. Therefore, there is always a possibility that you will get pregnant. At your age, you should know that you should prevent yourself from becoming pregnant if you have a man and you are having sex. This man should not physically abuse you. He doesn't care about you, and evidently he feels that because you are living with him and he is providing everything for you, he can do whatever he feels.
You have not said anything about your background and whether your parents or relatives can assist you. But what I intend to tell you is that you have to stand up against this man. You cannot allow him to feel that you are afraid of him. You should not take the abuse with a smile. You should report this man to the police. I know he may threaten you, but if you are determined to leave him because of his abusive behaviour, you can receive help. You should search the telephone directory for the numbers of the Women's Centre of Jamaica, and call them. Tell them about the problem that you are having and the help that you need, and they will advise you.
Don't take the position that you are helpless and you don't know what to do. Stand up for your rights. Help is available for people like you.