Daughter uncomfortable around her mother's man


January 19, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem, and I want you to give me your advice. I have two children, a boy and a girl. Their mother and I are separated. I have the boy and she has the girl. My daughter is now 15 years old, and her mother has a male visitor. My daughter tells me that sometimes her mother is not there. She has to work at nights sometimes, and my daughter is alone in the house with this man. He has never interfered with her, but she doesn't always feel comfortable when she is alone with him.

She is not accusing him of anything, but she always has to be in her room when he is around. She wants to come and live with me. I don't know how to say that to her mother, and she is afraid to make that suggestion to her mother too.

I love my children, and I don't want to wait until something happens, knowing that she told me how she feels. Her brother is 12 years old. I have room to accommodate my daughter. I don't know how to handle this problem.

Please give me your advice, sir.


Dear W.L.,

I suggest that you encourage your daughter to tell her mother that she would like to come and live with you. Tell her that because of the type of job that she is doing, she would feel more comfortable staying at your house with you and her brother.

There are two things your former wife may do. She may hit the roof and ask whether she is accusing her boyfriend of approaching her for sex, and she should be prepared to tell her that he has never done so, but she feels uncomfortable. She may also tell her daughter that she is ungrateful and that she would prefer to have her stay with her because a daughter needs to be with her mother. But then, she may just shock her daughter by telling her that she has no objection whatsoever with allowing her to go and live with you. However, she should feel free to come back if she is not happy at your house.


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